Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

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@Former-Member wrote:
@Determined do you find when things are not in crisis that you are able to do things without your darling?

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@Former-Member hard one to answer.

Even before things fell apart for us we didn't do too much apart from each other outside of work. It is much harder to step out alone coming out of a crisis though as my darling has become so dependant on me. Likewise I have been so invested in our situation that is now hard to know how to step away. (It occurred to me only Friday that outside of going to uni I have not had any 'me time' in over 12 months). Where to start. It is on my to-do list to discuss when I see my councillor next week. (Something else I have not done in ? Due to not being able to get away)

Short answer to that is that it has been so long that it is a challenge. I do have some activities I want to start / resume once this semester at uni is over and I have a chance to regroup. Will require effort in my behalf.

@Former-Member, was it this week Mr Darcy goes for surgery?

Thinking of you both...

Dear @Former-Member

Thank you for the message: May I ask you some questions about your answer. On no way do I want you to feel I'm bothering you but I identifuy for the lot of things you write.

One is that "I never felt the need to do everything.........."

Whatever you decide to do with Mr Darcy is something that I treasure. We are all here to be writing wittnesses of your journey on caring for Mr Darcy.

My situation is diffeent than yours but we are both married right? I get sick and tired of my neighbours and friends go on and on about what I should do with Mr g. They don't know, they have short term memories on his very strong and positive journey......they can sit around and judge but Im writing to you that they are happy to only see the good end bit and not focusing on the journey that he is on. Who of my friends is here to see and wittness the actual getting to the end? No one but they can judge me and my decisions while he is on them.

Whatever you decide to do with your life is what is going to help your Mr Darcy at the end of the day, no one else.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @PeppiPatty, @Determined, @Appleblossom

ohh we don`t have anyone visit us , no friends

ohhh my step dughter stopped in this afternoon to say hello

Hugs @Former-Member Big week for you emotionally, thinking of you.

I just wanted to clarify that my darling and I doing very little apart from each other has been more about being home bodies and not socially outgoing than feeling we had to do everything together. Just our dynamic and no reflection on anyone else. I like your analogy of the dance.

Darling was getting out and gaining some confidence with a group of ladies from school between S1 starting school and S3 arriving. Unfortunately that is the same group of ladies that 'dropped her' after S3 arrived.

She substituted that with cycling but this last 12 months has not been able. Hoping she can get back into that in the near future.

I am hoping to resume some club activities for myself once this uni semester is over also. Paying a yearly membership but not been out in a couple of years.

I have found most people do not understand MI until they are directly affected, nor do they realise the impact is has both on the patient and their loved ones.

Couldn't agree more @Former-Member, we have had all sorts of wonderful advice over time, for us the people who truly understand dont usually give advice but are quietly in the background to give a gentle word when needed. Somthing I have been blessed with and grateful for during my darling last 2 admissions.