Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Oh @Darcy -. I hope things improve from here on in my friend

Same from me too @Former-Member ..... 💕

Hugs @soul ..... 💜💐💕

And it doesn't help when there's no family support @Former-Member. Tomorrow I am going to visit the place where my mother's ashes were spread. Apparently my sister and brother who are Executors of her will "had a lovely day and are sure Mum would be happy" The thing is that we all live in the same town yet I wasn't told about this or invited. I found out today when my sister sent me a message telling me that this had taken place last week. I messaged her back and told her that I was deeply offended that I was not given an opportunity to be a part of this but her reply was that it wasn't about me and this is what Mum wanted. Talk about a slap in the face.

I spent many years caring for my mother until the sibs took over more recently. She passed away a month ago and the three of us were present at her bedside - me on one side and the others across from me. When the time came near, I called up my son to be with me as they had hardly acknowledged I was there. Mum was aware there was some friction so stipulated that she didn't want a funeral service but the sibs took it upon themselves to do what they wanted.

I have had no contact from my brother other than for him to tell me that Mum's will did not stipulate that her estate be divided equally amongst her children and it would be up to the Executors to decide. He claims he knows what Mum wanted. So the Executors who are my brother and sister who are very wealthy can decide whatever they choose. I don't think this is going to go in my favour.

I really don't need this turmoil in my life.

Thanks for your kind words and hugs @Former-Member@Determined and @Faith-and-Hope - really need some of them.

@soul ..... 💜💕

Hello @soul

so sorry to hear how abominably you have been treated by your family.

families can cause us so much pain.

I am working very hard at telling myself behaviour of others is out of my control.

Also that I have put up with far too much in the past and choose not to let them affect me within reason.

I wish the same for you. Spiritual guidance with which you are comfortable and calm.

xxxxxx

Thanks @Former-Member - this is just the latest in many years that I have been treated like that. I can't think of any reason for their behaviour other than bitterness that I relinquished the caring role in the last three years and they resented that.

My mother suffered through three bouts of cancer and whilst the siblings were too busy accumulating wealth to fund their comfortable lifestyles, I used all my sick leave, long service leave and eventually quit my job so Mum had someone she could rely on to take her to all her appointments. This was whilst my children were very young and my father was dealing with his own health issues.

Now they say that I didn't allow them to help out. I got sick of asking and being given excuses why it wasn't convenient for them.

When my marriage disintegrated and I left, I was ordered to give back the key to my mother's house. I was also told I needed their permission to visit her. My mother was well and truly hoodwinked by them. She always said that she never wanted to be put in a nursing home yet that is exactly what my sibs did as they soon tired of taking care of her. When I moved back to my home state, I asked her what she wanted and that there were other options including me looking after her but she refused by that time and said that it was for the best. Every time I visited her in aged care, she spoke of how demeaning an environment it was and how she wished she was back in her home.

Then I find out that her will had been changed and my sibs were now the Executors. Of course I feel a lot of guilt that I wasn't there to continue caring for her. My own life was filled with turmoil but I was told not to mention any of it to my mother as it would upset her. My sibs excluded me and my children from any family celebrations and get together. It was like I didn't exist. So heartless 😥