Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

So far so good @Determined. You have pinpointed the need for consistency and whilst I can fully understand your inclination to back away when things turn south, a gentle but firm and loving approach which helps to calm your Darling may be beneficial.

You know her better than us and how situations develop and become volatile. The way it turned from bad to good today is very encouraging though.

With school holidays fast approaching you might do well to have some plans in place as structure can be a useful thing. If everyone is on the same page, there's less chance for confusion and misinterpretation which can lead to stress.

Can you see a marked improvement in her behaviour after her hospitalisation and treatment regime? How is S2 doing these days?

@soul S2 doing a lott better since mummy came home. I fear we have a lot of work in front of us with him though. I will be booking a gp appointment for him at the start of the school holidays and looking into getting some support for him. I can see a lot of similarities to his mum. So young 😞 I am quite concerned for him. I will also be scheduling some 1 on 1 time with him to encourage him that he is loved and wanted.

Re how is darling travelling. ? Good question, before this afternoon I would have said that the only benifit was that the risk of self harm had reduced and that had come at the cost of complete emotiinal disconnection from me. There has been a positive glimmer of change this afternoon however. Waiting and hopefull. Certinally no marked improvement. (Pdoc thinks he has done a wonderful job and it was a success... ) we are far from well and thriving though. I think the key to any change and success will be in my consistent enforcing of certain boundaries and increased expectations. The main benifit with the treatment and time away is that I have been given a window and clean start to try and impliment this.

This afternoons glimmer of light has given me some renewed hope.

Darling and I are working on some school holiday activities to keep the boys busy. They will most likley have a sleep over in there somewhere with my mum so that will do us all good. 😊

So glad that S2 is settling down again @Determined. There seems to be a lot of belief that MI is hereditary so I can understand your concern. Of course you wouldn't want your son to experience the same struggles that your Darling faces. And not having his Mum around at times and when she is, acting in a manner that confuses him, can't be healthy. He is at a very impressionable age and it would be tragic for him to think this is the norm and could influence his behaviour, future relationships and ways of seeing the world in a detrimental fashion.

I think it's an excellent idea for you to schedule some quality time with him. In fact your previous idea about family time and couple time makes a lot of sense. Get an appropriate balance but don't forget to find that bit of time for yourself doing what makes you happy and relaxed. Perhaps another massage.

Sounds like the Pdoc has patted himself on the back. Not sure how he can make that judgement when he isn't observing her back in the "real world" - 🤔 I guess it's a matter of being diligent about how you react to situations that arise. This, in itself can put a lot of pressure on you. The fresh start must not fall into old patterns because they didn't turn out so well.

Keep looking for those positives. How's your gratitude posting going? And have you found some humour or are you still searching for that?

Had actually forgotten about the gratitude post tonight @soul, thanks for the reminder, will pop over now and see what I can come up with. I did actually get a laugh in yesterday. Will have to keep working on that one.

Darling had a follow up with the pdoc yesterday, I really should have been there but it was a cancellation appointment and I was preparing for my exam at the time. Not sure my input would have been welcome anyway.

"Sounds like the Pdoc has patted himself on the back. Not sure how he can make that judgement when he isn't observing her back in the "real world"

You have my vote but I wont get back on to that rant again tonight when I did not make the effort to be there and set things straight. I do think however I should be given the opportunity for input. Darcy gave me a good link re mental health act that I may look into in the near future and see how I can do more while limiting the fallout. It is on my list for discussion at my next councilling appointment.

I am very poor at journaling or record keeping but going to make an effort to track moods so I can be more definate in my input and back my thought process up.

S2 was complaining about a physical complaint tonight that almost landed him in hospital (last time carling was in hospital as it turns out so I wonder if it is stress related?). Will have to get it checked early this time, I left it way too late last time because I thought he was attention seeking, felt sooooo bad. (If left unattended can turn into an infection)

Once again, here comes the train lol...

hello @Determined, @soul, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @Owlunar, @JoJo99, @Rose96

went to the kidney specialist today , the kidney is stable at 24 % which is good , but he is not happy with all the infections, colds, flus,aches and pains and all the AB i have taken this year already , so I will be taking 5 meds a day now which is ok

i asked him about the kidney Dialsis machine , and he said no not yet -- i need to be taking 14 meds a day before they will think of the machine

so he is happy to see me in 6 months unless something happens , but to keep in contact with my GPs , Dietician and the kidney Nurse

yes i agree my birthday twin @Faith-and-Hope, be good to get rid of the infections and all the aches an pains will be good