APPROACHING SURE?

Not at all @Shaz51

i enjoyed reading about your MIL and your and hub's senstivity to her loss.

Glad you connected with your family of origin too ..

HEY lady .. stop cutting yourself off .. you can put in your 2 bobs worth anytime .. you've certainly earned it ..

Lovely to hear about the foster gang .. I bet there are some stories there... and challenges.

I need to go for a rest again ..

but so lovely to catch up with my forum family.

Cheers

Ok my friend @Appleblossom

see you later xx

you can put in your 2 bobs worth anytime ..--- ha ha anytime , and i am getting more writting out here too my friend -- watch out

Thanks @Appleblossom....

Can't reply properly, as exhausted... just ate so need to wait a bit before I try to sleep....

You are so brave to keep trying socially, I glad you experienced kindness today x It makes sense that it is the mum in you too.. I don't think I can do it anymore... maybe one day when I'm able to manage my mental ill health better & less likely to be judged & better able to communicate in real life...

Ahimsa - Namaste,

Anna

I try really hard not to upset people. I listen to them a lot .. used to find it hard and go croaky because I wasnt used to speaking .. still working on the mind-mouth connection .. and love it when I can be brief .. and relevant and not too long winded.

The kindness on Boxing Day might be imprtant for a few reasons .. but when she arrived I just burst into tears with her .. but I know she struggles too .. and we feel better when we .. stagger along .. in company.

Only ever approaching sure. Feeling very battered and bruised after my well meaning but obviously unsuccessful attempts to belong somewhere... in my family .. any of them .. in my choirs ..

in my own home

Reflecting over the last 3 months, there have been many failed attempts to connect .. nothing I do works and I do put effort, conscience and creativity into it ... very very damaged .. feeling exhausted at the thought of the "holiday" I have planned for me to be away doing music and enjoying life .. why is it so hard for me to get care.

Never feel like I fit anywhere. Glad the forum is here .. but I need to regulate the addictive quality in it to an hour a day. Then in a week I will be away for a while ..

At least my son is not here to see me like this .. but he has seen it in the past .. where do I find the energy to do what has to be done .. not even able to do much music ..oh it might be all the extra medications .. not sure about them really ..

I will do what I have planned tomorrow .. because I follow through .. but not sure ..

@Appleblossom

When I read your post I felt so sad. I also know that the effort you have put in has yielded some great successes too. I know you had a big glitch the other day but to me it just feels like something that you can come back from. I think if you come back as you they will see it and move on. Only those with no real compassion will judge you and hold it against you.

I get the family thing with your brother must feel devastating just as you were getting somewhere he shifted the goal posts which was awful. I hope after tonight you'll wake up tomorrow and put some space between the events of the last few weeks. I'm writing this like I know how to do it which I don't or I wouldn't be in the headspace I'm in but I guess we know on paper it's how we'll move on again when the time is right.

Thinking of you and hope that 2017 finds more stable connections for you. 💜🤗

Thank you very much @Former-Member & @Former-Member

The silliness last night helped lift my mood enough to have energy to organise taking an old lady to lunch & the movies.

It was also really important that you both responded to my last post. Silliness can be a distraction but the reall life stuff underneath .. still has to be lived .. thanks @Former-Member .. for that thought about the choir .. they are in recess through January .. and my old girlfriend supposedly with alzheimers .. phoned for New Years .. and I made a plans about how to approach it .. she is going to go once per month .. and I might do that too for a while .. and see how things go .. at least she will be there .. I always tended to be with older people .. but i dont want to age pre-maturely. Your input is good...makes me feel like genuinely belonging here. ..

My son came home and we just finished eating .. he was well and enthusiastic but also they have a very sick pet .. .

we have also been worried about one of our cats .. but he seems to have beaten his cat flu .. without antibiotics .. time will tell.

So life is full of constant ups & downs.

Good Night and I hope you both have good solid things happen for you in the coming year.

Hello @Appleblossom, how are you this morning -- yes it is still morning xx

very hot up here, hubby is thinking i am pushing too much
@Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, hope you ar ok too xx