Feeling down

Very sorry to hear that, @john74

How old are your kids?

Hi @NatureLover . I have two girls aged 24 and 22 and a granddaughter aged 5

Oh no, so you're missing out on seeing your granddaughter too @john74

@NatureLover yes and the worst thing is l still have her toys in the house because when my ex left she said leave them as Charlotte my granddaughter would still come and visit me. I am just so over it. Every year now l loose hope of ever seeing them again.

Do they not reply to your contact, @john74 ?

Hi @NatureLover l am not game to try because l am scared of a negative outcome, or my ex blowing up etc.

I'm sorry to hear that, @john74 .

I know that they may think you don't want contact, if you don't try to contact them. That is the assumption. I know I would feel as though my dad couldn't be bothered /had washed his hands of me /wasn't fighting for me.

I wonder what supports you have, including professional, to help you maybe try to make contact and support you through the result?

Hi @NatureLover l understand what you are saying. There was a no contact undertaking between me and my eldest daughter and granddaughter which expired in early October. She made a lot of false and misleading allegations against me none proven obviously instigated by my ex wife. That is what l am scared of happening again. I unfortunately don't have a support person aside from a mental health nurse and my GP.

Hi @john74 , your situation sounds complex. But I'm glad to hear the no-contact agreement has expired now.

The most practical thing I can recommend is to get a counsellor or psychologist, to help with strategies and to support you long-term through making contact again. Psychologists can also offer validation for your hurt and abuse. I know I've received a lot of healing for my abuse over my years of therapy.

The first step to getting a psychologist is to visit your GP and ask for a Mental Health Care Plan. This will entitle you to 10 subsidised sessions with a psychologist per year. The only thing is that psychologists are so overwhelmed with demand at the moment that it could take 6 months to get in to see one. But it's a good idea to get on the waiting list now.

You can help this process by googling then ringing round psychologists in your area to ask: are they taking new patients at the moment, what is the wait time for a new patient to start, what are the costs, etc. Then you can take a name to your GP for the Mental Health Care Plan referral. (GPs might not know which psychologists are taking new patients and which have stopped as they are full.)

I recommend this even if you don't think you're suffering from any MIs - counselling and emotional support can be helpful for anyone, I reckon. Plus you have a specific issue you could do with emotional support for. And I seem to remember you've mentioned depression and social anxiety in the past? (Forgive me if I've got that wrong)

Plus we here on the forums can support you if you want to reach out and make contact with your daughters and granddaughter...you can tag me any time, or make a new post each time if you want.

Plus there is the SANE Helpline 10am - 8pm, 1800 187 263 for professional support also.

So you have a few options of support 🙂

(I'm usually only around during the early mornings as my psychologist has limited my time on the forums due to burning out in 2020. Christmas Day is the exception, as I try to be there off and on most of the day. So I might not reply to you till tomorrow early morning)

Hi @NatureLover Thanks for your support and reply. My current mental health care plan expires in mid Jan l have been having monthly telehealth appointments with a mental health nurse practitioner following two suicide attempts in late 2022 just after the family breakdown. I have discussed a new plan with my GP but l feel the current practitioner and strategy is not as effective as it should be so l intend to chase a psychologist and l am aware of the the waiting lists being long. The current plan is fully bulk billed under Medicare as l am on a disability pension due to my mental health issues and reduced work capacity. My GP has temporarily increased my medication as a trial for 1 month but the ultimate answer is finding work and other social activities then l wouldn't over think things maybe. I have been trying to find work unsuccessfully for some time as well as dealing with other issues such as financial pressures as at the time of separation l was left with $40 and an old worn out car a some basic household items. My divorce hearing is set for early February so the divorce will give some closure on the abusive marriage. Thanks once again for your support. 🙂