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A Poem? Maybe?

A Poem? Maybe?

Hurt, Lost, Broken

My life is in tatters, my dreams have crumbled around me

I had the life, i had it all

How did i fail

How did i fall

Cruising through life, using everything i could

To keep myself moving

To keep myself high

The ups are fantastic, the best place to be

Altho i could never see the disease

The illness taking over me

No treatment

No plan

No help

Just searching for the high that evaded me

Using this drug and that

To maintain that happy place

When in reality

I was just wasting space

Broken and tired

My life in ruins

How stupid of me to believe

That i was as fantastic as i could be

Tortured now, by the memories

The lows, so low some will never know

How quickly life changes

When everything crumbles and falls in a heap

Now i am lonely

Now i am unloved

Now i have no peace

No place

No love from the one i hurt so much

I still miss her dearly

And altho i know we will never be

I can always hope it untrue

A dream to awaken from

Faith only blames me

Treatment only dulls me

Pain is all i feel

Hate of myself is all i can think

Why did i not notice

How could i not see

Why did this happen

Unanswered questions just for me

The hardest part of it all

Is knowing i will never get to say goodbye

To those who were closest to me

All hope is lost

No freedom for me

Forever trapped in this hellhole

I hope not for an eternity

Thank you

Sorry i just needed to write

376 replies

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In response to: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Hi

Thanks sometimes just have to vent on the world i know the world has no personal vendeta aginst anyone but at times it helps to scream and rant .

i just get so angry at everything when i havent slep well for awhile,and brain gets fuzzy.

Scorpion

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

@SCORPION a good vent does wonders 🙂

Pushing for recognition

Pushing for glory

Letting myself down

Without telling my story

Ducking and weaving

The supposed accusations

Not really knowing

What they all be saying

I try and do well

I try and do right

But are they merely

Talking out of spite

Is it my illness

Is it my fears

Am i just making up

The nonsense i hear

I seem to be well

But is it just lies

How can i tell the difference

Will it ever be the same

Just me having a Vent too 🙂

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

oh gosh you guys are good at the poetry, i wish i could put words together so elequantly to describe how i feel, but you @SCORPION & @kato are able to voice what i can't, thank you both so much, it makes me feel less alone in the world.

Jacques

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Kato I can identify with this.. I agree it is good to express it out as in a poem or just to journal if yoou are not that way inclined....often I feel we can get the wrong idea about people because of our delusins of persecution and paranoid feelings....the best thing is to not need other people's approval and think of it as none of your business what others think...be happy with what you are and be fine with that....

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

@Jacques Hey jacques, i tend to write out how i am feeling while listening to music, it makes it easier for me, almost turn it into some semblance of a song or something lol, i don't know how others read it but i read it with a beat bouncing in the background, i wrote that one as i am feeling good at the moment, but yet as per usual i still find my thoughts go to strange places when sleep is difficult, i have been having a bit of an up and down time of late, getting back into work has had some stressors that i am finding difficult hence the questioning, it is more relating to my bosses at work etc.

@autumn I write my thoughts as a poem here, and i have a journal of nonsense on my computer that i write a whole bunch of convoluded trains of thought. I agree with what you are saying 100% i try not to look too much into what is being said and the associated thoughts and feelings around it, but this particular thing is about my bosses at work, i didn't realise until i wrote it, that was something plaging my unconscious mind.

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

I like the poems and work ethic

I am resigned to me deciding what my work is, and doubt it will ever be more than part-time any more. But what the heck I am busy enough for a full timer.

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Glad you like them appleblossom,

work ethic was a bit of a have to for me, my debts were/are a fair bit out of control, and this has had to happen in order for me to fulfil and hopefully eliminate them.

i will continue to post poems when they come to me, i like thinking that they might help someone with what they are expierencing

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Hey Appleblossom I know I would not be able to work full time but still I am very occupied and fulfilled in the voluntary work I am doing benefitting others and with the things I do socially for fun... Like you are in full time work as you say... Fortunately there are no pressing money concerns making things difficult for me not working... I still feel a vital part of the community in my own mind....

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Poetry and music have kept me alive.

I have often just lay in bed with my books.

A couple of weeks ago I had a few of my own poems put in a local anthology. Still not printed yet. Its a thrill for me .. lousy headshot for the bio though.. oh well cant have everything.

I think the important thing is breaking down the boundaries .. sharing soul stuff. Thanks

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Autumn please don't take me the wrong way with what i wrote about myself having to work, not my intention to make anyone feel any less of anything, i apologize i didn't mean to come across the wrong way

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