When you feel it's best to give up on life

Hey @Healandlove , thanks for sharing. Sounds tough. I’m sorry you don’t feel a sense of belonging there. What do you think would help you feel that you do belong?

I’m certainly hearing you. It can be such a lonely road at times.

Thank you for being here @tyme .

I really don’t know. When I feel this low nothing helps.

Thank you for listening though.

I also wanted to say, that you post reminded me of my past life. Day in, day out, life was the same. It was empty and void. I lived to die. I never thought that mindset would change, but through much therapy it has.

Put it this way, I didn't focus on these things during therapy, but overtime, it did change.

I learnt not to run after happiness, but run after contentment instead.

Just hold on. Things can change. @Healandlove

Thank you so much for this @tyme .

As low as I feel right now it does give me hope.

I really do hope therapy helps me. I just want to cry all the time and end my life but I am holding on. I hope things change.

Thank you for being here.

I don’t know how to do those quote things via phone… but you said …”It's almost as if moments of happiness make me more miserable after they are over.” I just wanted to say that I relate to this very much. It’s like you have those moments, very fleeting and rare, and then it’s back to your regular programming, which ain’t a pleasant thing. Back to the normal. And you kinda realise what you’re missing out cause you know that there is more out there to be had.
At least that is kinda how I see it.

and I am very much feeling this way tonight. It’s a real struggle.

@tyme , can I ask what type of therapy did you do? Was it a combination? I'm seeing someone that is specialised in trauma as I also have childhood trauma and anxiety.

I don't want to give up on life and I know there are things living for but there are days when it is all too much. I'm glad I'm hanging on still.

Hey @Healandlove ,

I had Mentalisation-based therapy at Spectrum which is a personality disorder and complex trauma service.

This therapy is not specifically designed for complex trauma, but the results and research shows that it has impacted complex trauma - for the better. It consisted of 18 months of both individual and group therapy. The clinicians there are very very skilful. I'm am astounded at the skill level of those that work there.

Even to this day, I can't believe that I've changed from wanting to die every day to actually loving life.

@tyme , thank you. I have looked it up. I am willing to try anything to get better, help me cope with my husband's complex-PTSD and just be a stronger and better mother for my children. I long to love life again like I did once. It's hard when there is love but somehow the scars we carry make it harder.

Have a good night.

Thank you for your reply @Bow .

I'm sorry you are also going through this. How are you feeling today? With that lack of belonging I feel I have lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore. So much has changed in my life and I am struggling to know who I am.

I hope you are feeling better today.

It's a real roller-coaster. Sending love and healing.

No idea who I am either @Healandlove and no idea what my purpose in keeping on going is. Not doing ok sorry