not feeling right

@Eden1919 I read this on FB and thought of you

"Piglet?" said Pooh.
"Yes?" said Piglet.
"I'm scared," said Pooh.
For a moment, there was silence.
"Would you like to talk about it?" asked Piglet, when Pooh didn't appear to be saying anything further.
"I'm just so scared," blurted out Pooh.
"So anxious. Because I don't feel like things are getting any better. If anything, I feel like they might be getting worse. People are angry, because they're so scared, and they're turning on one another, and there seems to be no clear plan out of here, and I worry about my friends and the people I love, and I wish SO much that I could give them all a hug, and oh, Piglet! I am so scared, and I cannot tell you how much I wish it wasn't so."
Piglet was thoughtful, as he looked out at the blue of the skies, peeping between the branches of the trees in the Hundred Acre Wood, and listened to his friend.
"I'm here," he said, simply. "I hear you, Pooh. And I'm here."
For a moment, Pooh was perplexed.
"But... aren't you going to tell me not to be so silly? That I should stop getting myself into a state and pull myself together? That it's hard for everyone right now?"
"No," said Piglet, quite decisively. "No, I am very much not going to do any of those things."
“But - " said Pooh.
"I can't change the world right now," continued Piglet. "And I am not going to patronise you with platitudes about how everything will be okay, because I don't know that.
"What I can do, though, Pooh, is that I can make sure that you know that I am here. And that I will always be here, to listen; and to support you; and for you to know that you are heard.
"I can't make those Anxious Feelings go away, not really.
"But I can promise you that, all the time I have breath left in my body...you won't ever need to feel those Anxious Feelings alone."
And it was a strange thing, because even as Piglet said that, Pooh could feel some of those Anxious Feelings start to loosen their grip on him and could feel one or two of them start to slither away into the forest, cowed by his friend, who sat there stolidly next to him.
Pooh thought he had never been more grateful to have Piglet in his life.

That's so special @Dimity .... hugs

@Dimity thank you that is a very sweet passage. my psychiatrist was a little difficult they werent really listening to me like they want me to start my old oral meds again but they make me sick which is why i stopped taking them and i kept telling them they make me sick and they just kept saying "just give it a try" like no i have already tried it for months and it kept making me sick i dont need to try it again to know it will make me sick. but they wouldnt let up so i just ended up saying i would think about it and yeah it was quite annoying. also they dont want to change anything at the moment so there is no way they will consider taking me off the depot which is very frustrating.

i am struggling a bit today i am still scared and frustrated and idk what to do but i am trying to keep it together it is just hard. i am also kind of sad cause i feel trapped and defeated and idk how to get away from this situation.

Actually @Eden1919 it's encouraging if they suggested oral meds as it's a small step to maybe changing the depot eventually.

I feel a bit stuck too by circumstances and am bogged down in same old stuff day after day. Haven't felt well enough to do much for a while.

Do you ever shop online? I haven't tried it yet.

@Dimity nah they want oral meds as well as the depot not instead of it. i am sorry you are feeling bogged down. i dont do much online shopping but i do a little of it i should probably do more that might be easier but then again it depends what i am shopping for.

i am so frustrated i didnt get any sleep last night and the night before i only got 2-3 hours and now i wont be able to sleep for another 32 hours because i have some stuff going on which i dont want to share but it involves being awake for far too long and that meant it will probably be 4 days with only 3 hours of sleep total idk what i am going to do.

Gosh be careful @Eden1919 not sleeping for 2 or 3 days beforehand was a hallmark of most of my hospitalisations, it's a red flag for me. I hope you can nap.

Hoping things have improved for you @Eden1919

@Dimity thanks i have slept a little more the last few days i am still struggling with a lot of things though and idk what to do i am staying with family at the moment and it is different.

Would it help to talk about it @Eden1919 ?

@Dimity I am not sure I am just feeling so weird and off and not right like it is weird because I don’t necessarily feel bad but I do feel like something is not right and I am trying to figure out what that is like everything is just so weird and there has been a lot going on with my family and idk I just feel weird.