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Oscillation between two mind sets

Oscillation between two mind sets

Sometimes I feel like I’m on top of things and don’t feel like my trauma defines me and I don’t feel so ashamed and scared. Other times I want to hide from the world and feel like a **** (I’m not going to say the word here since I don’t want to trigger anyone) 😭, I feel so ashamed that I don’t want people to know

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In response to: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

@creative_writer oh hectic, yeah withdrawal is really rough. You got a pdoc appt coming up right, so you can chat about your meds and maybe do something to get back into balance?

In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

@Jynx, I saw the pdoc on Friday. He said it was okay that I took PRN when needed and wanted me to take it earlier rather than later which is what I’ve been trying to do. I don’t want a repeat of Thursday night. It’s only been three days, so I’ll see how things go, if I can go back to normal soon with a few PRN doses, I rather do that than prolong the emotional instability. Thankfully it hasn’t gotten to last year stage, as I haven’t taken PRN for as long enough at this point, so I don’t think withdrawal would be an issue, unless I took the PRN for more prolonged period of time. I am also mindful that there is a part of me that prefers to manage without meds, but sometimes you have to do what you need to do to survive during the day. It’s a better option than suicide or another self-destructive way of coping

In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

@creative_writer yeah absolutely, I think of it as 'Coping is coping'. We just gotta remember to keep adding healthy coping tools to the toolkit to replace the unhealthy ones wherever we can. Sounds like you're doing just that!

Also this:

It's definitely tough to rely on meds, but also that's part of how far modern medicine has come, that we have successfully synthesised so many chemicals to help our brains. Like bio-hacking on a chemical level haha (sometimes it helps me to think of it like I'm in a sci-fi movie lol).

How you feeling now anyway? Settled a bit, I hope?

In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

@Jynx, everyone’s brain is different, I do feel like some of us benefit from taking meds, it certainly sucks, most people wouldn’t want to take meds. You do need to weigh the pros and cons, if I was med free, my life would be chaotic (I don’t want to be hospitalised) and I may also burn out my brain from all the stress. Yes, meds may make your brain foggy, but so can stress. Stress is not good for the brain, but that’s not to say the brain can’t recover.

I think I’m feeling better being at home, I have been able to rest up a bit with less overwhelming stimuli. Shopping centres and cinemas can get a bit overwhelming after some time. It also helps to reach out on the forums 💖

In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Exactly @creative_writer on all accounts - brains are weird, complex systems and finding balance within the context of an increasingly stressful and chaotic world is a tricky thing.

Oh I feel you! All the bright flourescent lighting, people and noises everywhere, such an intense impact on the senses. I don't know how people go shopping without noise cancelling headphones! It's the only way I can get groceries haha.

Aww I'm glad to hear it, always good to have this space where we can be ourselves and connect with others. I'll be off in the next halfa or so, so should start sending my lil goodnight messages now methinks. I hope tomorrow is easier on you darlin, and we will have more chats next week I'd wager!

I'm also gonna make a thread, if not tonight then during the week, for talking about sexuality and stuff - I can tag you if you like 💜

In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

@Jynx, I know light can make me more agitated. Today I’m spending time in a darkened room because I feel extra sensitive right now. I hope you had a restful night and look forward to talking to you next week 💖

In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

I can’t forget and I’m not sure if I can forgive those who started this war in me. I believe everyone pays the price for what they do in the end, I hate admitting believing that brings me comfort

In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

I know what you mean. A part of me doesn't want to forgive, even though forgetting would be bliss.

In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Hi @Doog, it’s nice to meet you 🙂, I don’t believe we have spoken before. I totally feel you on forgiving, I’m the same. I’ve even had moment when I went backwards and become angrier and bitter about it. It’s hard when we have been hurt really badly to let go, and I know anger is valid. I wonder when does it reach the point of sipping poison. Like is my anger too much right now, or is it in the healthy range? I just don’t know

In response to: Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

Re: Oscillation between two mind sets

I was having a conversation with someone yesterday (can’t mention the exact details here) about how sexist cultural values degrade women and make us feel like shit. It places a lot of blame on survivors. But why do I care about what people think? Why does having this happen make me less whole?
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