Oscillation between two mind sets

@creative_writer hmmm I wonder if it's the caffeine, bodily habits, or simply that in the morning you have more to direct your attention/focus toward? Hard to say. Could be worth chatting to your gp or someone about it!

@creative_writer Mm easier to fall into the spiral if your brain is tangenty! Something that I find helpful is to remember that the voice in my head is not me. The mind is a tool, evolved to solve problems... which I think can mean that sometimes if we haven't a problem to solve, we can end up trying to make one 😅

But in terms of spirally thoughts, whenever I have an awful, self-depreciative, or otherwise disturbing thought, I no longer think 'omg what is wrong with me' or just, automatically believe it, I instead focus on the reaction to it. The reaction is me, not the thought. For example I had one recently, can't remember the context exactly but I remember my brain randomly going, 'I can't believe I'm this stupid'. Once upon a time I would've just accepted that as canon, because my brain said so. This time I noticed having a reaction; I felt hurt. So I said to myself 'Hey, that's not very nice. We made a mistake but it's not proof of stupidity. I'm doing my best, and don't need to be mean to myself.'

Do you ever journal the ruminatey thoughts?

@creative_writer I'm glad you no longer think that makes you stupid or lazy! Yay growth!

I think journalling can be really helpful when it's all tangled. When it's not a habit it can feel weird at first, but basically you just gotta start, that's often the hardest part. I find it helps me to lay it all out, then it's easier to make sense of it, and it no longer swirls around in my brain.

@creative_writer ooh yes a very good idea - make notes of the things you learn, bits of advice - definitely helps with memory consolidation. And a good way to help you to separate/get distance from client stories. I remember when we did ASIST training we did role play, and afterwards the coordinator would get us to say three things about ourselves that are different to the role we played, to help us dissociate from it - perhaps you could do something similar if you're finding a client's experiences are hitting too close to home?

I hear how raw this is for you @creative_writer . You don't deserve to feel alone in this.

Sitting with you.

We hope you get the support you deserve.