Oscillation between two mind sets

Hey there @tyme 💜🌺🙂

Standing tall, thank you for checking 🙂💜

here for our @creative_writer 💜

I'm hearing you @creative_writer .

I can absolutely resonate with what you are saying in that I too, was so guarded for so long. Yet after years and years of not getting better, I finally had to give in and let go. It had to come to a point where I accepted help and trust someone else.

I hear this is hard. Yet this is something no one else can do for you.

Each person has a point whether they choose whether to continue striving or whether to allow themselves to be helped.

I wonder if this is your turning point?

Hey there @creative_writer 🌺

yes, I can see how that narrative has had a purpose, however i do think it’s not good having to live with not only pain but masking, as well dearest 💜

It sounds like there’s a point where somethings got to give, and make way for some change.
I was married for over 17 years where I masked, and I just couldn’t keep that up - I compromised myself for the sake of everyone else, and it reduced my value as a person so much I didn’t ever reach out for help, until some years after I left, when I realised that I was a person who was also allowed to be happy, and so I started trying to deal with the pain which I had been suppressing for the comfort of everyone around me.
One thing about having been through that is I really don’t want to see other people having to mask and suppress, so gently I’d like you to know that you never have to mask or suppress yourself, and you can feel a sense of freedom to express whatever you feel you want to, and I’m happy to hold space for that and sit with you anytime 🙂🌺

I was about to say that @creative_writer . Yes, your psych may not understand you, but then, have you made yourself understood? I hear the vulnerability. Hence, this is not a challenge. It's simply a thought. I know it's not as easy as tell or don't tell. Or be or not be vulnerable. The time needs to be right, and you need to be ready.

If you are not ready, no one can expect you to open up to face what are potentially 'demons' (if you know what I mean).

You have not done anything wrong @creative_writer . We support you in whatever you decide you can or can't do.

We are with you.

I'm hearing you @creative_writer .

I'm also thinking, what would you like your psych to do so that you feel she understands? I'm just wondering. No need to answer if you don't know. I'm only curious to understand what 'understand' looks like to you.

Hey @creative_writer ,

And that's okay.

For me, there was a stage were I had 3 therapists. Each person had their own strength. To one psych, I'd work on certain things, and with the other, I'd work on something else. Then with the 3rd, I'd work on something else again.

No one ever fully understood me, and I didn't expect that. If I expected it, then everyone would be a failure.. because I didn't even understand myself!!!!

Hence, take what you can from each whether it is a psych, a counsellor, a support line, a forum....