Need A Backup

Hey! @Salvia

My name is Amber22 and I am a Peer Support Worker here at SANE. Welcome to the forums, I'm so glad you decided to join us, and I really hope you get the support that you need from online here.

Have you tried to give SANE another call once we opened at 10am? I saw you tried to call a bit earlier, but I hope you were able to get through again.

Don't worry, we will be here during the end of year period, so feel free to always reach out to us if you need it 🙂

Please let me know if you have any other questions at all,

Sending hugs

Hi @Salvia

I can understand the feelings associated with our supports winding down for the year. It is a shame our mental health doesn't do this too.

Over xmas I try and stay connected on here or use the helplines.

Here if you need to chat

@Salvia @Snowie @amber22 yeah this time of year is hard. I wish it didnt exist. I was already struggling due to family abuse and avoiding them like the plague for 26 years. Losing my father '22 and then mum '23, this is my first xmas/ny without my parents and I will spend time on these forums and working as well to block it all out. Not that we celebrated anyway but still, the only solace is that I am extremely covid conscious and Xmas/NY are superspreaders anyway..... the irony....

Hi @scruffypuffball

Sorry to hear about your parents. I hope you have enough supports in place to get through this difficult time for you. I'm sure there will be people around on these days, myself included.

hi @Snowie @amber22 @scruffypuffball

I have emerged. Thank you for your replies, I did find them but didntknow w hat to say, and then forgot to come back. it's like i was a different person then / a lifetime ago / bed a me someone else to cope and now I'm back. Sorry I'm not much help to you guys. Do appreciate you're here. Though sick of myself, exhausted, lost. But survived.

I'll have a read around. Try get to know yas, connect here, need some support, if anyone can handle me. Done trying, run out of hats, so please try take me as I am, doin my best here 😢

You sound like you are trying your best @Salvia . Now one can ask you for any more than that.

We are here to support you.

@scruffypuffball

How did you cope with your bad aniversaries? I lost my mum+sister-Jan'18 & Dad-Dec'22 their birthdays November... it lingers on? messes with my head all summer. But its true that that time helps, the first is the hardest, we do learn to live with it. Hope you're ok. Doesn't help when the rest of the family is estranged (i live that too)... nobody to bounce memories off.

thanks @tyme but how do we know if we're doing our best - when tiredness is confused with lazy? and people with greater struggles are doing so much better?

Hey @Salvia ,

I terms of doing your best, if you think about it, is there anything else within your control (considering the current circumstances and your current state) that you are able to still do?

Laziness is more not having the drive or want to do something as opposed to being someone that really just 'can't' do any more.

@Salvia "nobody to bounce memories off. " yep i feel that too, at the same time my childhood was traumatic and people around me failed to keep me safe, so I try to shut out the bad memories as well. So on the one hand you want to remember on the other you dont. How do i cope, i can only speak of my experience, I was abused as a child and neglected so as a young adult i shut out all photos and memories of that and focused on looking to the future and centering myself, put myself first and cultivating a life dedicated for me. - my own support network (friends, not family) that I chose helped me thru it. As for anniversaries, it didnt really affect me during xmas, thankfully. I had my hobbies and it kept me grounded and distracted.