Unknown userMember
my mask
Hello all
I thought that I would write about a part of a conversation I had with my husband last night.
Firstly I will quickly tell you that we have been together for just over 7 years, married 2 months.
When he first met me, he told me that I am the strongest female he has ever met or known. He had witnessed me go through one catastrophe after another.
His family are not people I would choose to have in my life, however they are a part of it now as little as possible that I can manage without causing any friction. Several of them are judgemental and critical, so i tend to play musical chairs around them. Needless to say they know very little about me.
Last night I was discussing with my husband, my twin sister's situation at home. He turned to me and said "that is something that I just dont get about you, whenever you are in the company of your mum, your sister, your sons you are happy and bubbly. When you are with me you aren't like that most of the time. I said "stop there and think about what you have just said" I then explained that I wear a mask with them, so that they think that I am fine. They know that I have been hospitalised before and by wearing the mask they dont have to worry about me. With my husband, I feel safe enough to let the mask slip sometimes, glimpses of my illness can be seen. I told him that he is the only person in my whole life I have been able to feel safe enough with to do that with other than my psychiatrists.
He said that he understood what I was saying. I know that he doesnt get it, he probably never will. So I know that I will probably wear the mask more firmly whilst I am able to.
wondering how this is for others.
