~ The Toolshed ~

@GezzaP I was looking at doing chair yoga at one stage because I can't stand in the one spot for more than 90 seconds without my lower back going into spasm, which is agony, so I thought that chair yoga would be a better option, but I think at the time I was looking at starting, something triggered me, and then it was all over red rover.

I used to collect stamps when I was around 12 or 13. I remember that my year 8 maths teacher collected stamps as well, so when I finished my work early, he would have me sorting out his stamps. I did have an album, but I have no idea where that would be. Probably in a box ruined in my storage container.

I love gardening, but because of my back issues I can't do it anymore. Not that I have a garden now.

My previous partner (that passed away) and I built this garden from scratch. The only things we didn't build was the gazebo, the pergola, and the retaining wall that you can't see in the photo. It was a lot of hard work, as we wheel barrowed all the soil from around the front where it was delivered, to the back to fill the garden beds. And it was worse for the retaining wall bricks as the delivered them on the front yards at the bottom. We hash a steepish driveway that we had the wheel barrowed a shit load of bricks up.

To the right of this picture was a pond dug into the soil, with a fountain, and to the left we had a massive retaining wall, as when we used to be in our back yard, our block was higher than the neighbours and we could see straight into their back yard. We also had a large water feature in the middle of the retaining wall. I spent a long time today, try to find a photo of it, but I would say it is on my old desk top computer.

@Bunniekins that's a great way to look at it. That reminds me of a quote I heard in my women are strong workshop I did. The quote said, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" and I thought that was really powerful.

I really feel for you and the struggle that you have gone through and are still going through. I just want to give you a really big hug.

@Mustang67 thank you i will gladly have that hug hunny xxx

@Mustang67 I'll have to see if I can find the pics again, I think I shared them in the hobbies thread but it might have been under my old account which isn't active anymore. I'm hoping you can get the motivation back, I understand the feeling well. I used to colour every night but now I've lost that and anything craft related I just haven't been interested in.

I'll get a pic of the ones I brought yesterday and post them at some stage today too 😊

@DownMoreThanUp I love the last one as that explains why my lower back is now so bad, that I can no longer walk very far. I grew up hating arguing and raised voices, so I did everything within my power to make the other person happy, so there was no conflict, but really there was a conflict, it was going on inside me, and I just tried to ignore it for 50 years.

As a Cancerian, I held a lot of my emotions in, which is why my body is screaming at me for help. I am slowly learning how to process my emotions. Because when I was 48 and I hit rock bottom in my life, all those unprocessed emotions came to the surface. And it was not enjoyable or pretty.

Thanks for sharing. I hope your day goes well for you 😊

@MissGremlin Good morning, I am hoping that by watching the other people show their finished projects, it will help give me the motivation I need to get it started again. I just need to get rid of some boxes to my mum's place, so I have room on top and underneath the table.

I would love to see photos of what you purchased yesterday. No hurry, just in your own time.

Good morning, everyone, wishing you a pleasant day and I hope your day goes to plan.

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@Mustang67 Thanks for sharing that my friend.i relate very much what you are sharing here.

Such a break down you are describing of my emotional state happened 29 years ago too. Before that time my back aches were basically daily, so were the evil voices raging in my head, with me desperate trying to get away from my ugly past, but such blew my life apart anyhow, blowing my inner dwelling place apart nuclear explosion style.

@Jynx @MissGremlin @Bunniekins @GezzaP @heartathome @Appleblossom @Moose123

Only just the last 9 years i learned a way to emptied out the inner well of my suppressed emotions hurting me from within, and i finally begin to be able to deal with those voices attacking me when triggered or psychotic and slowly begin seeing my good life come back again.

i hope this will be true in your life as well. Applying love to the loveless place within is how those evil voices in my life were deactivated.

To let love conquer all is the Way out!

@DownMoreThanUp thank you DownMoreThanUp for your wonderful tools. hope you have a wonderful day. love bunxxx

@DownMoreThanUp thanks for sharing back. It feels good to know that I was not alone with this. Really, I still haven't been shown or taught how to process my emotions. All I know is that I can't lock them deep down inside and pretend it didn't happen, like I have done all of my life. I know that you have to sit and feel the emotion, but then what?

I have not felt my normal happy, funny, bubbly self in since my partner died 23 years ago. He took a piece of my heart with him, and I have never been the same again.

The quotes are good to. Thanks for sharing.