~ The Toolshed ~

@tyme I do like you. So logical.

@scruffypuffball my ex trying to mimic empathy was disturbing 😳

@scruffypuffball , what you wrote reminds me of the book, "We need to talk about Kevin". As much as the book was a really difficult read in the beginning, by the time I got into it, I couldn't stop. I was absolutely captivated... what you posted reminds me if the main character, Kevin...

@tymeyes I have heard about that, and it was made into a movie, I havent watched it as I dont watch movies, but yeah, Kevin is my brother. Goddamn. It was torture living with that for so long. Thanks for mentioning. Psychopaths are genetically different, my parents were not abusive but they were soft and he knew what he could get away with. So I just cannot accept "trauma makes them that way" excuse. Getting away and going no contact is the only solution, so is radical acceptance.

Hey @scruffypuffball , I don't watch movies either. The book was incredible. Goes into the mind of the person.

TW: socio-paths, psychopaths

Please note, the above is purely from my own observations and experiences.

Hi and welcome @Alice10 I'm not a regular on this thread. Just passing through.I scanned thing about hoses and ph books . Funny.

TW: parental abuse

@scruffypuffball @tyme @Glisten @Appleblossom

Sorry if I’ve missed anyone out whose been supporting me with lovely and also helpful comments.. I’m also not super savvy with technology.. I’ve just re-read the above post.. it’s helping to be able to identify with some of the personal accounts/past experiences.. my “person” is definitely using abuse as a stimulant and cannot tolerate boredom. And he does create chaos in order to feel. When I read about people being ‘lovebombed’ at the beginning of the relationship, I could identify with that too. Part of me feels unintelligent for walking into this eyes supposedly wide open, I don’t think I’ll live with anyone (in a relationship sense) again for a long time. I feel however, that my “awareness” journey is really beginning now, because I’m operating as a more whole (as in healed) person. I was always afraid of being on my own before. He always refers to how he has “fixed me” and how I was a “mess” when we met, and I was a bit battered by life I suppose, but I guess he saw that coming too. This is the second time in my life only, that I’ve shared a home, with a partner, and it’s a truly beautiful one on acreage, so I’ve been having waves of grief. And tears that come from a very deep place, when he’s not around. My action plan is progressing - I won’t go into detail, regarding moving on etc. There are a few things that I need to - go my way - today, so wish me luck. People say that the school of life is the most valuable one - not easy though is it. Xo

PS. Whenever I’m feeling low, I log onto this site and re-read posts etc and it’s really helping. Thank you so much forever and ever - Alice.

@Alice10 I don’t know what to say or where to start.

Sometimes words are inadequate and response unnecessary.

Except to say change is inevitable. Nothing stays the same. Life is very short.

His words did not match his actions. An ill-mannered beast came to stay, the love of my life, man of my dreams went away.

Occasionally I would see glimpses of him, taking to other people.

But when his eyes turned to me, the apparition of my love disappeared.

I fell in love with a person that didn’t exist and I grieve for him like a widow.

G

Step by logical step.

haha women can have logic sometimes when not eternally pressured to forgive and self sacrifice

I left over 20 years ago @Alice10

Nup no other relationship but not saying never

Good luck