~ The Toolshed ~

Thank you for leaving this post on narcissists on what to do and what not to do @scruffypuffball I have read a lot about narcissists over the years and this seems to tease apart behaviours that I have seen in narcissists that give a red light when just getting to know someone. I'm grateful you have left this post. Its given me added things to ponder on, key insights that have not ben cited anywhere else and good indicators that someone is a narcissist

Hey Glisten @Glisten Sorry to drag you over to this thread. Wanted to answer your questions

about the bench top but on a less busy landing strip. Lot of traffic on the other thread and don't

want to jam up the traffic too much.

So. . . How did I cut the slabs. I would love to tell you it was hard but I used the same gear I cut

square posts on the farm with.

1.. I screw a long aluminium ladder to the top of the log. level it up all nice with a water level.

2.. Make a rolling frame out aluminium . Try and imagine a flat square frame, wider than the

log with wheels that fit to the ladder thats screwed to the log.

Like a train on some railway tracks.

3.. Then a arm is bolted to the rolling "train" which has an elbow that end at one end of the log.

Bet your seeing it already @Glisten

4... then attach a chain saw with a 4 foot bar and fine tooth chain, or longer if needed.

Level it with a spirit level.

And thats it @Glisten You have a level chainsaw, clamped, that rolls on fixed runners,

thats fixed too the log..

With each slab you cut , you have to remove the frame and re attach to the remaining log..

And thats how I cut giant slabs in the bush.

Now you see why I didn't want to put all this on Tabs thread.

Tween you and me, I had a good long look at those chairs you made.

Let me tell you, now I've shared my method, you could do this easy.

No way Could I ever make those chairs.. You have good hands, head, and heart my friend.

So.. If I need to talk timber. Is it ok if I tag you here if we get technical.?

Hope it OK with the folks on this thread.. We won't do it to often.. nite @Glisten tonys

I know what you mean. For me I can't remember how I felt yesterday (last hour, last minute) or know what's coming. It's a roller coaster without the fun. Me? I write it down to hold it in my memory.

@tonys

I totally understand. The ladder is the rail.

You level your guides for the thickness of the cut.

Makes perfect sense.

Thanks so much Tones. Because I use reclaimed wood, I never think about how you would cut a log in the bush.

So log-ical Haha

This is such an eye-opener.

I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me.

Big bear hugs to you and the Bookkeeper

G

@toodles @Appleblossom @scruffypuffball @tyme @amber22 @hanami @creative_writer

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I remember walking away from all toxic people in my 20s, I literally had no one left! Sometimes I felt like such a failure it was overwhelming. I wish youtube was around back then.. I could have done with this video. There is power in walking away.

I remember family members visiting me after I had gone no contact with them- Implemented a boundary after they had stabbed me in the back and lied to me, ganged up me etc. They blamed me for something my brother said that insulted them. Like I am not responsible as a 20yo for policing the behaviour of other toxic men ffs, confront HIM directly about it. They wanted revenge. Mum disappeared into the back room and cried. I went back to stand opposite my cousin who was smiling (smirking) at me while she was saying "do you want us to leave (if your mum is upset), keep in mind we were going through an extreme domestic violence situation with my older brother who is a psychopath- she was happy to see us suffer. Anyways they stayed. My auntie said to her grandaughter (who was 2yo at the time) "go on, go and sit next to (she meant me) as no one visits her anymore, she is all alone in the world now, no one wants her LOL" I remember giving her the biggest death stare I could muster. It was like my worth was solely dependent/determined on being accepted by the rest of a very toxic family of narcs. This is how they think. They spent the rest of the time belittling me (for example my other cousin grabbed her 2yo niece and put her fingers on her face and said "look how PALE she is, awww so pale" referring to me as my cousins spent a lot of time sun baking and they were obsessed with how they looked. I have a whiter face than everyone else. Anyway. I remembered as a 20yo to not fall for this sh!t and remembered what my therapist said at the time ("you are not going back to them").

This cousin and auntie came to my mums funeral after she died so tragically and invited me back into the fold 23 years later. Yeah, Nah, I'm right thanks. I promised to myself at 20, even if I face homelessness I aint going back. Furthermore, if you go back to an abusive relationship after implementing a boundary, you get treated worse than before. This is backed by research.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a9qfnOIkPM

Well this is good. Could be the shortest letter I ever wrote.

Walk away from toxic people the man says. . . . Damn straight bro..!

Well wishes to you, @scruffypuffball tonys.. 😊

Oh wow @scruffypuffball that's a powerful story, thank you for sharing! "The only way to win the game is not to play" after all! Good on you for sticking to your guns.

Oh also @scruffypuffball just finished watching the video you shared too! Actually so informative and insightful, would recommend it to anyone else reading along!!

I'm also curious about where you said "if you go back to an abusive relationship after implementing a boundary, you get treated worse than before. This is backed by research."

Do you have any of the research about this handy? I'd love to have a read of it!

hi @Jynx when i was collecting info in 2020 i came across quotes on twitter or FB but I didnt always copy the links provided, i think i have info somewhere but it will take me hrs to go thru everything and I am very busy with work, short staffed so dont have time atm. i did watch a Lundy Bancroft interview yesterday and he worked with abusers for 30 years and only jail can really reform them. He said women should not go back to abusers and "work it out' that all of their time and energy and resources should go towards leaving.