~ The Toolshed ~

Yes!!!! I love that @Glisten

So so true! Sing it, shout it, let it ring!

Change begins with YOU!

@tyme @Jynx @Glisten @_PixieSolstice_ @toodles

Quote from Elizabeth Mika, like attracts like:

This happened to me, can confirm:

if you think having toxic people in your life is devastating, imagine the ones in power. Bandy Lee said dont give toxic people power, they wont know what to do with it so they destroy everything

This narcopath dude on twitter is always on a role:

yep, my abuser who has aspd is:

interesting interview. I remember reading a quote on twitter: "Abusers are dictators without a nation"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR7NMdpNtSU

Bandy Lee is an expert on the pathology of abusers. I always quote her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKVZKv45lMI

@Jynx @tyme @Glisten @_PixieSolstice_ @toodles

now I cant stop. this is how i collect psycho-education

went thru this today:

"Don't worry about being alone. There is nothing more lonely than living with a narcissist."

I am trying....

@Jynx @tyme @Glisten @_PixieSolstice_ @toodles @Appleblossom

you can tell i am on leave cant you...i have time to share more gems. had a bad week. i was feeling down so now I am sharing with you in the hope i can lift someone. This takes me back to my #narcissisticabuse twitter days. Notice it is all in 2020. I collected these while working from home during lockdown. One of the periods of growth in my life. I did not waste it. I hope this helps in some way.

for some people it is a game:

OMG this... THIS! (Quote from Ryan North)

Listen to your gut:

Niceness is an act. Kindness is a character trait:

We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning.

When they chase you it may mean they like you, it may mean they want to control you...

Persistence only proves persistence-it does not prove love. The fact that a romantic pursuer is relentless doesn't mean you are special-it means he is troubled.

Gavin de Becker

Sociopaths love power. They love winning. If you take loving kindness out of the human brain, there's not much left except the will to win.

Martha Stout

The perfect victim, from the sociopath's point of view, is the person who is smart enough and capable enough to do him some good in the world and who is also fun to manipulate. How much fun is it to manipulate someone who is stupid and incompetent?

Martha Stout

The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness. It is, perversely, an appeal to our sympathy.

Martha Stout

If you don't have a conscience, what is your behavior like? Apparently, if you don't have a conscience, if you don't really . . . love, then the only thing that's left for you is the game - it's about controlling things.

Martha Stout

The reason I want to explain that you're probably never going to get revenge a sociopath and you're also probably not going to redeem this person, is that it is not a project that will ever succeed. At present, if a person does not have a conscience, we know of no way to instill one - not even a little bit. It's not like something you can take off the shelf and put into somebody's brain. It makes me so sad to hear people say, "I think I can see just a little bit of a conscience."

Martha Stout

People ask me many times, "Aren't you afraid you're going to scare people? Aren't you afraid you're going to make people feel bad about the human race?" I look at it as entirely the opposite. Something you can understand and identify should be less frightening than something you can't. And to understand that there are people who are capable of acting without conscience, without considering other people at all, explains a lot of things.

Martha Stout

Being sociopath is not what most people would consider to be winning. Most of us have some kind of positive goal in mind when we think of winning. A sociopath thinks in terms of successfully manipulating someone into doing something that he or she would not have done otherwise. That can be a small thing or a tremendous thing, but the point for the sociopath is to win, to make sure that this person does what they're trying to coerce him or her into doing. It can be as disgusting and as simple as making a child cry. Or it can be as complex as making your wife feel bad about herself.

Martha Stout

I was once doing a book signing and a man came up to me and said that he gave classes to people who'd been convicted of drunken driving twice. He said he felt that nearly all of those people were what I was describing as sociopathic. Which makes a great deal of sense to me. We always talk about how could you possibly, knowing that you're drunk, get behind the wheel of a car again and do that? Well, you could if you didn't give a half a damn what happened.

Martha Stout

Sociopaths are not afraid of very much, except for physical harm and dying - really primitive, basic kinds of fears. The problem with being alone for a sociopath is boredom.

Martha Stout

I always wonder why people rev their cars when they drive past. They are telling on themselves:

Another thing that's fun for sociopath is speed, literal speed, going very fast in your car. Not that everybody who goes fast in their car is a sociopath, by any means, but anything that gives you a rush will lessen your sense of boredom.

Martha Stout

power is a poison, a primitive drive:

Cats are like this. Learn from cats:

“About one in twenty-five individuals are sociopathic, meaning, essentially, that they do not have a conscience. It is not that this group fails to grasp the difference between good and bad; it is that the distinction fails to limit their behavior. The intellectual difference between right and wrong does not bring on the emotional sirens and flashing blue lights, or the fear of God, that it does for the rest of us. Without the slightest blip of guilt or remorse, one in twenty-five people can do anything at all.”
― Martha Stout, The Sociopath Next Door

Dont tolerate it. Learn to love yourself:

The way to win is to not play:

ok i went thru 70 pages of 157 of stuff I collected over the years. going 2 bed now my shoulder hurts.

@tyme @Jynx @scruffypuffball @_PixieSolstice_ @toodles

It is the one year anniversary of the physical DV incident.
It took a fair amount of self-talk to do the 2 hour drive south. I was scared of being triggered once I got to my friend's house.

It was the opposite no triggers, no panic attacks. If anything I had a feeling of calm and control. Which baffles me.

Any thoughts?

Had dinner with my friend’s loaded my car and drove two hours home. Arrived 45 minutes ago. I’m still very relaxed and happy.

@scruffypuffball I almost needed to call a catholic priest to exercise the Narcissist Memory Demon from post. So graphic it was disturbing to read, because all those statements are true and real.
It happened to us @scruffypuffball and I am very grateful to you for your honesty, for not letting me stand alone.

Grief is love that has no where to go. This morning my tears of grief are for the person I was. I kissed her goodbye as she died. I am not her, I am in progress of becoming, me.

@toodles 🤣😂 BAHAHA

Happy first day of summer!

Hey @toodles !

Love it! Happy Summer!