chibamSenior Contributor
Support For Historylover
@Historylover, I've read your most recent posts. I'm sorry for your predicament as you relate in (whats left of) them. And what has since happened in that thread has almost certainly not been reassuring for you, at a time when I can tell your aching for some genuine reassurance.
You've spoken about how they are collecting your words to use against you. Might it be useful to employ that same strategy yourself?
You say that they won't specify what your supposed "delusional disorder" is, thereby leaving you without a charge to argue against. But what are the common factors that define all "delusional disorders"? I can only assume that you've said something that, in their eyes, is considdered a delusional idea.
So, have they come across as hostile to any particular idea or principal that you've voiced? Have they been attacking/undermining/challenging any particular statements you've made? e.g. by asking things like "How do you know that?, What makes you think that?, Have you considdered that what's actually going on is...", ect.? If you can determine what thoughts their taking issue with, that may give you some sort of hint as to what sort of delusions they are going to accuse you with. It might help you arm yourself better for your tribunal.
I know that with my ordeal with my own therapist, the key to escaping was right in front of my face the whole time, for those whole 7 years, and I just kept ignoring it because I was too damned fixated on getting the therapist to respect my point of view, rather then just telling her what she wanted to hear. All that time she kept making irrelevant comments about my financial situation, and how I needed more money. I brushed them off because I had much bigger worries to contend with. Then, I was finally pronounced cured and let go when she decided that I had enough money for her liking. Think of all the grief I could've spared myself if only I'd truly listened early on to her fixation with money, and told her that I'd somehow come in to a fortune, thus resolving all the money problems she was so obsessed with.
Maybe this lesson can somehow be applied to your situation? You don't get set free (in my experiance, at least) until you tell them what they want to hear. And you can't tell them what they want to hear until you've really listened to what their claiming is wrong with you, and stopped trying to dispute those diagnosises, however dodgy they may be. Sometimes the messages are more subtle then we can hear, but I think most therapists will drop some sort of indications about what they don't like about you - even if it's just a contemptuous facial expression when a certain idea is voiced.
I don't know what more I can suggest at this point, @Historylover .😔 I can only wish you all the best for your tribunal on Monday, and for the remainder of your treatment, however long that may be.
Be well, @Historylover . And know that you have people rooting for you on the outside, even if we can't do anything practical to help.🤗🤗🤗🤗
