Far and Away

Thanks so much @Teej @Zoe7 for your empathy.

I reckon he’s going to sink himself by degrees, but it’s not going to be pretty waiting it out either. And I don’t know what his “bit” actually is yet either ..... but to be playing along with this level of abuse says something about her as well.

I am shocked in the moment with these things, then strangely calm, because it’s this that I have escaped, this is what was behind a very believable mask.

100% agree @Teej

No-one deserves this and certainly not our @Faith-and-Hope - but you are the winner here Hon because you are grace and dignity personified ...and as you can see we are all here with you, for you and walking alongside you

Totally agree @Faith-and-Hope She has to shoulder so much of the blame in all this too - what kind of person goes into someone else's home - especially when they are away and then goes along with the abuse you are receiving from Him - disgusting ...and says a lot about her!!!!

That is going to help me move forward @Zoe7, even as it has helped me through the devaluation and discard stages - at least now I can identify why I was so confused, why he appeared to have been changing personality and value system ..... it’s because both are interchangeable. It was a metamorphosis I was witnessing, but they can’t discard one who supports their existence without first luring in another one and securing them in that position, so that explains that part too. I just think the health scare he suffered caused him to bring it forward to before the holiday instead of afterwards. I am thankful for that too, and for still being able to go with most of the kids, without him ..... and not having to witness first hand what he was up to here during that time.

Not just into someone else’s home @Zoe7 .... the home of the woman she has been cheating on for months, while that woman is absent from her home .... ???!!!

As classy as conducting the affair with the disabled child in the middle of it ..... if someone can explain that to me in language I can understand, it would be interesting.

I think you are right @Faith-and-Hope re sinking by degrees. If you stay the gorgeous @Faith-and-Hope who is calm and collected (which I know you will) surely alarm bells and questions will enter her brain assuming she has one.........although the real culprit is the one we are angry with. How very dare he think this is ok.
Through all the crap I've just had to endure dissolving my ex partnership I was never disrespectful or rude to him. It isn't hard to put the important stuff on the agenda and respect each other while doing so. He needs to grow up.

I need to sleep now. Good luck @Zoe7 with this week. I hope you continue to feel better. @Faith-and-Hope I will try to be around a bit this week. Have just spent a week in respite but it wasn't as restorative as it has been in the past. Will be looking out for you though when I can.

I am glad for you it happened before the holiday too @Faith-and-Hope At least that gave you time away with some of your kids to actually get out of the environment he had created. It was a good respite for you - and a long one to catch your breathe a bit ready for what you knew was to come (as much as you could) ...but who knew he would be so vindictive and nasty??? If only he had been honest from the beginning but then it seems that is not in his actual make-up - not the man you fell in love with but definitely his father's (and mother') son.

Yeah that part with D2 is totally unforgiveable under any circumstance @Faith-and-Hope - and not just for you but for confusing D2 in amongst it all too - how can anyone think that is okay???? - using your disabled daughter to win points without her welfare at heart it seems????

Thanks @Teej . I am having my moments where I spit a bit more out, but mostly I am in the moment and just breathing clean, fresh air .... and finding things to keep distracted with.

I am also reading up to learn more about what I am dealing with. It’s a form of adaption to childhood damage apparently.

Sleep well Hon. I will look forward to finding you about the forums.

Goodnight @Teej Sorry respite wasn't as restorative as it has been in the past. Hopefully you got a little out of it though - enough to sustain you moving forward for a while. Just good to have you around Hon - it has been such a hard road for you lately with all the legal stuff - but you are doing it 👍💕