Far and Away

It has been a big week for me and it seems you too @Appleblossom Hope you are sleeping soundly now Hon and can rest up over the weekend

I just fell off the couch with excitement @Faith-and-Hope Welcome back my angel 👍👋😁🌈💛🧡💚💜💙💐🌺🌸🌷🌹🐬🦋💕

@Zoe7 .... 💜🦋💕👋🌷

Quick hi to everyone. I have to feed my girls .... back a bit later.

Thanks soooo much for keeping a light on for me ..... means the world 🌍 ❣️

xxxxxxx 💕

I'll be around for a while myself Hon so I will look out for you - can't wait to catch up with you @Faith-and-Hope - as you have probably read I missed you sooooooooooooooooooo much - best day of the year today 'cos you are back

I am otterly happy that you are back @Faith-and-Hope

@Angels333 💕

@outlander 💕

@Faith-and-Hope I need to head to bed soon so leaving you with this...

Thanks @Zoe7 .... 💜🦋💕

Tonight has become busier than I expected. Went to see my other girl, and she wasn’t doing so well ..... sucky, confusing, hurtful things have happened while I have been away.

We will get through this, step by step, but my WH is showing more nasty colours as each day goes by, demonstrating more and more just how unwell he is. And what I thought he had as a potential diagnosis has turned out to be something far more difficult to contend with, and to expose for what it is. Hopefully he is in the process of doing that to himself though, and will be diagnosed at some point in the future. At least that would provide me, and the kids, with some closure around it all. His mask has slipped, and it’s shocking to even have to come to terms with the fact that there was one to slip ...... 😳. It’s presenting as a super-duper mid-life crisis to everybody else.

The time away has been an incredible respite, despite the rolercoastering issues reaching us through the wonders of technology. The hard part is disengaging, and staying in the moment with the kids, so we don’t lose more of the special times 🥳 to the crappy / creepy stuff we will have to wade through for the next year or so. (Big time ugh !!🤮)

S2 didn’t come, but that meant WH didn’t either, so Christmas and New Year were quiet, but special nonetheless. S2 might have gifted us that deliberately, and a greater gift it could not have been, despite the fact that I missed him so much. It also meant he got caught in what was happening here, but he is on a recovery path already. The changes, although awful, will bring freedom for the youngest two by degrees. Gotta plaster their wings back on .... cos them baby dragons is gonna fly !!!

Hopefully you are sleeping now. I am westerly at the moment, for a couple of weeks, before flying easterly again.

Hugs n hugs ..... glad to be back and still in one piece.

🌷💜

Still up Hon - couldn't sleep ...and I blame you for that lol - too excited about you being back Very sad for you though with all that you have had to come home to and especially that your other girl has had to deal with sucky, hurtful thngs while you have been away. But she is her mother's daughter and I bet she is so pleased to have you back. You will all get through this Hon - I know that because your kids have you to protect, comfort and love them - and whatever games WH is up to the real him will show out more often than not. While it really is difficult to see your kids have to suffer under the weight of his deceival and nastiness they also have you as you have always been - a dignified, respectful and loving parent who does not play games and has their best interests at heart. ...and your kids will see through his actions beccause of the way you have brought them up as well as the grace with which you get through even these worst of times. Here with you in whatever you need my angel - wrapping my arms around you as you navigate this new round of nastiness and pain for everyone 💜💙💚🧡💛

Thank you so much @Zoe7 ....

We have one sort of diagnosis around one of the kids, but this is an entirely different ballgame, with some similar features, but that’s where it ends .... thankfully. The psych dealing with that bd says that they will / are developing the skills to recover, but what WH appears to have rarely ever presents for diagnosis - they are known by how everyone else suffers from their behaviour around them and they can rarely be altered very much at all, because they don’t own any need to.

Big battles ahead now ..... new controlling behaviours and premeditated systems in place before “the discard” happened, but I am sooooo relieved that it’s now outside my door. I will be climbing mountains all year, but there will be a life beyond the mess that I will just have to keep aiming for.

@Teej