Far and Away

@Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @Former-Member ...

Fell asleep on the couch - cried myself to sleep

Still feeling sick and extremely exhausted but wide awake ...the positive is the crying has stopped 👍 ...the negative is I still can't get the unwanted thoughts out of my head👎

Even though it is very late I am going to do a little more cleaning - best to keep busy as there is no point even trying to sleep right now while my head is in this state. I don't have to do anything tomorrow but get ready for Christmas day so I can rest when needed throughout the day. ...and the more I get done tonight the less I will have to do tomorrow.

Trauma sucks - flashbacks suck - but life goes on and I just need to get through tonight...

Wish so much I could help @Zoe7

Just feeling really helpless and good for nothing right now. Really sorry. Know I am very much thinking of you.. I will try again in the morning to respond.. Much love to you. 💕💕

There is not much anyone can do for me right now Hon - it is simply a matter of getting through this. It won't last - that I do know - but for right now it is tough. I know you know that sick feeling and being right back there - that too will subside and I will be okay ...nothing more I can do for the moment but ride the waves, distract and stay safe tonight. I want so badly to stop this pain right now but I know it will eventually pass so using all the strength I have left to do what I can to resist those urges. Exhaustion plays into that but sleep is also not a good place for me at the moment @Former-Member - so cleaning it will be until I cannot stay awake any longer. The doona is ready on the couch when that time comes, my little buddy is sticking close and all my means of SH have been removed - so some safety measures in place - and I see that as a huge positive that I have had the foresight to remove those temptations. I woke in fear earlier when I fell asleep on the couch so I don't expect the remainder of the night to be any different - going to be a long night but just getting through is my only goal.

Hearing you @Zoe7 . 💜💜💜

Still sitting beside you @Zoe7 in an effort to comfort you, and help keep you safe. 🐶💕💕

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Maggie @Sans911 ...

Made it through the night - finally slept a little this morning with no nightmares and not waking in fear 👍

Thank you all for your support - it may not seem you have done much with your words but to me it means a lot ...just being here with me (and especially those of you that I know get how I was feeling) really does mean so much. There was nothing anyone could do to change what I was going through but having your support meant I was not alone and that really does mean the world to me

Today is a better day already - much calmer, not feeling that sick feeling and SH thoughts gone - so will get cleaning soon then get some more sleep before I begin setting up for tomorrow.

Thank you my friends ...you are all wonderful, amazing people and it really is such a pleasure to know you and have you in my life

Thanks @Bimby2 and all the very best to you too.