@Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @Former-Member and all others passing through (not tagging as it is a personal post and don't want anyone to feel obliged to read)...
Had my appointment this afternoon - it took just over an hour. It was as difficult as I expected it to be but my GP was so lovely and caring throughout. She knows how hard it is for me so talked me through it and tried to make me feel comfortable - that was not going to happen but I appreciate her trying. I held it together both in the appointment and afterwards while I went to the chemist - then the tears came. Very much feeling sick and flat (an understatement) still but will get dinner (don't want to but need to eat) and then get stuck into the cleaning to try to take my mind off this afternoon and all the thoughts associated with it. Have taken extra meds to both help me get through tonight and try to calm a little as well.
I knew this afternoon was going to be difficult so worked really late last night - tidied up the spare room, moved things temporarily from the loungeroom, kitchen and dining room to the spare room, made a flower arrangement for the Christmas table, did some washing and started cleaning the windows. Got to bed about 3am but did not sleep much ...then met my Dad at 9am to do his shopping for Mum. We had that done in about an hour (which I think is a record) but I already had a few things from yesterday that I could give him to give to Mum. Afterwards I headed back into the city to get a diary ...took longer to park than it did to buy the diary lol
Came home, got Toby and heading to Mum's work. I managed to print out nearly everything I wanted to but the photos of my sister's cat that I want to put in the frame for her - reason: stupidme copied the wrong file and therefore did not have the photos 
I'll have to print them out on my printer and then re-do them at a later stage (my printer is not the best quality for printing photos).
After I finished the printing I visited my sister's new house. It is beautiful and has a lovely feel about it - has so much land, established gardens, an undercover entertaining area, large sheds for her partner's cars (he restores old cars), a great workshop and beautiful large rooms. I can see myself happily 'playing' there - still sad that I can't just call aruond to see my sister when I am out and about or go to the beach on the spur of the moment - we will need to plan those things now and it will certainly mean we spend less time together ...especially with me working full-time again next year too. It will only really mean weekend visits and I expect they will be few and far between also as I will need to spend part of the weekend planning and resting myself. I honestly do not know how it is all going to go - been so long since I worked full-time and I am of course concerned I won't cope ...wait and see I suppose as that is all I can do.
Time to get dinner then begin the cleaning ...and hope the tears stop soon. Love and hugs to all reading and a hope that you have all had a little light in your day 
