Far and Away

Thank you so much @Maggie - such lovely words from such a lovely person

@Faith-and-Hope I have found myself missing you more than ever today and hoping so much that your time away is filled with adventure, calmness and love. Myself I have slept most of the day - very much exhausted from everything. I did have a visit from my Dad and then my Mum - both dropping off birthday cards as I didn't see either of them on my actual birthday. Neither stayed long - which was good for me - but it was nice to see them.

I am going to try to start to clean up my house tomorrow so I don't have as much to do next weekend or the couple of days before Christmas. I also need to begin shopping for Christmas - presents this year will be very small as I certainly do not have the money to get much. I know my family understand so I am not at all worried about it but I do want to get everyone something. No Cat or Toby presents this year but they have enough anyway (spoilt much lol).

Cat is doing well - she is eating, has put on weight and seems really happy. Of course she is still getting extra cuddles ...I spend way more time in her room with her ...Toby sits at the baby gate and cries occasionally - he is such a sook when he can't get to me and Cat is getting the attention

One week left at school - I really am looking forward to the break but of course also sad I am leaving that school - so very mixed feelings. I started to withdraw a lot from people there some time ago - easier for me to not be as invested so it is easier to leave. A lot of the kids know I am leaving now also so getting extra hugs and a lot of sad faces. I am really going to miss the kids but I started all over again there this year so I can do it again next year. The staff dinner is this week but I am not going - can't afford it and really don't want to be in a noisy environment either - and quite frankly I am so tired I don't think I would have been able to make it on the night anyway. My Mum's retirement event is on the day before and that is more important I be at that than the dinner the next evening.

Still getting through day by day, missing you so much and counting down the days until you return. I really hope you are okay and the trip away is helping you regain some strength and peace. You are always in my thoughts, in my heart and all around me with reminders of you wherever I look. Love you Hon

@Zoe7 💛💛

Thinking of you @Faith-and-Hope 💜💜

@Maggie

@CheerBear Thank you CB - much needed hugs and gratefully accepted ...not much celebrating for anything this year - way too much going on but this time too will pass and I can begin the rebuilding again little by little and step by step. I also know there will be anxiety and worry about both starting at the new school and also working full time again ...not sure how I am going to handle the latter but with plenty of rest over the Summer hoping I will be able to handle it okay.

I haven't been following along here with anyone but I did see you were going through a really tough time yourself some time ago - hoping that has eased for you Hon ...many big squishy hugs coming right back at you

@Faith-and-Hope I did some shopping today. Mum gave me some money for my birthday to get some things I need. I now have some clothes that fit me and I can also wear to work next year. It actually made me feel a little better that I could do that shopping as I certainly could not afford it myself and I desperately needed some new things that both fitted better and were not wearing out. The meds have certainly added further weight on (which I knew was a side effect) but I will tackle that over the Summer ...more beach walks, get back on the bike and eating better will all help - they have all fallen by the wayside the last couple of months with everything going on and as my MH has declined again so there is certainly a lot of room for improvement.

Haven't done any of the cleaning up I wanted to begin today - still very tired and had a bad headache - but will try to do a little tonight now I feel more rested and the pain meds are working. Most of the Christmas shopping will need to be done the day before Christmas as that is when I get paid next ...I have a little spare from this last pay so I will head to the market on Saturday to see what I can find cheaper also. I have bought the chicken, Dad will cook any other meat we have and Soph is bringing the Ham so pretty much just vegetables to buy and they are often both cheaper and much better quality at the market.

I also want to get some things organised this week for my class next year as I won't have access to a printer or many resources until I start at the new school. If I can get some of the assessment documents and spelling and maths booklets organised then that will be a few less things to get together at the start of term 1. There is a lot I cannot do until I start as I don't have all the current records of students to look at until next year ...it is a pain but it is what it is and I can't change that - one of the downsides of starting at a new school.

This week is a full on week again - Mum's retirement is the big one as I will have to go back to the old school for that. I have a psych appointment on Tuesday afternoon so that is fortuitous to help me work through having to go to that school and see people I really do not want to see on Wednesday. They are going to farewell Mum in the major end of year assembly so there will be everyone there. I am really stressed about it but it is also really important I am there for Mum. The assembly will be followed by an afternoon tea where other people that Mum has worked with are expected ...it is going to be a very long day as I am working up until I leave for the assembly - so will in effect be working full time this week. Thursday is the school picnic and I am supposed to be going with my class from last term ...I hope that doesn't change as it will be lovely to finish off the year with those kids. Enough about me ...I hope you are well and happy and there is so much light in your life Hon. Miss you heaps and can't wait to you return back to us. Hugs and hugs and hugs 💕😘🌹

@Faith-and-Hope 🌹💕😘

@Faith-and-Hope Had my psych appointment yesterday. I actually talked for most of the session ... a lot to get off my chest I suppose. It was good to get some of it out though. We have not made a further appointment as yet - she is leaving that up to me over the holidays. I need a break to get myself together but she will fit me in if I need to see her over the holidays. I still have my GP and pdoc I can see also and for the time being that is enough. A big appointment with my GP on Monday - one of those invasive tests that I need to prepare myself for and will no doubt be very triggering - but it has to be done

I had a long conversation with my Mum last night which is unusual for me. She told me that 2 more teachers have left because they don't want to deal with the Principal anymore and one more is having a baby (which I knew) and has also requested not to go back. She also said that one of the office people had a meeting with the Principal and she told her in no uncertain terms what impact she is having on the staff at that school. It hs made me even happier to not be there anymore and honestly pleased that someone has stood up to her.

I also found out 2 days ago that one of the positions available at my current school has been filled by a recently graduating teacher who did one of her placements at school last term. I was understandably really upset and angry about that but even more looking forward to the new school now. The knew teacher agreement is now official (as of yesterday) so from term 3 there is a reduction of contact hours for primary teachers - that means that the potential for me to teach Art from term 3 is very much on the cards so that is something I can look forward to if in fact it does eventuate.

It is my Mum's retirement farewell and afternoon tea today. She doesnt know about the afternoon tea but does know about the farewell in the assembly. She knows I am coming up for the assembly so she can't back out My sister can't make it for the assembly but will be there for the afternoon tea 💕👍

Hope you are finding some joy in your life and being able to relax as well. Miss you everyday Hon and can't wait to have you back. Love and hugs 💕🌹😘

@Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7

I have now finished at my current school. That year has gone so quickly and I am truly going to miss everyone. There have been some really strong bonds I have formed with so many and the idea of not seeing them every day next year is really sad. I did go out to meet up with everyone last night for their end of year dinner - I didn't go for dinner as I could not afford it but met them afterwards for a little while. I usually feel so anxious about that kind of social situation but last night I handled it quite well. It was in a small bar where they had an area booked for the evening so it was just work people and no-one I did not know - think that made it so much easier.

They gave me a really lovely and moving farewell today - my favourite person in the whole school gave the speech and it was not only lovely to hear but so heartfelt. In a way it solidified all that I had thought myself over the year and that is a really big positive. Not only have I successfully moved back into teaching but done it for a full year with only a few stumbles or periods of doubt along the way.

Now it is time to look forward to the new chapter at the new school and hope that I find it both as enjoyable and supportive. I am concerned about working fulltime again but it will also be good to have my own class and then the prospect of teaching Art later in the year - so it is a payoff I was willing to take to hopefully have my dream of teaching Art come true ...silver linings maybe.

For now I need to begin cleaning up my place in preparation for Christmas as everyone is coming to my place. I certainly feel much more able to cope with that this year than I have done in the past so that is a real positive also.

Personally I am doing okay - this week has been a good week so my hope is that things are on the way up again. The increase in meds has certainly helped as has the wonderfully warm and encouraging words I have had from so many of my colleagues over this week.

Cat has put on weight and is looking really healthy. She has started to sleep on my bed again and that is usually an indication that she is happy - when she was unwell she spent nearly all of her time in her room so it is wonderful to see her venturing out again.

Toby is his usual happy self - I can now look forward to spending time with both him and Cat - especially taking Toby to the beach. This Summer is time for me to look after myself - find the joy in life, begin to regain some strength and become healthier in body and mind. That will take time but I now have that time over the next 6 weeks to find that path forward again.

Financially I will still be behind until I go back to work fulltime but there is nothing I can do about that. I still have my vet bill to pay off and of course there is Christmas to organise - my family know I am struggling financially though so won't expect too much. I get paid Tuesday so it will be a quick shopping trip to get everything I need for Christmas day and Mum and Dad are helping with that too.

It has been a really busy and full on week this week so I haven't been keeping up with anyone but as usual you have all been in my thoughts. I do hope that there has been moments of light in your lives and that this time of year is not too stressful for everyone. Love and hugs to all

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @outlander @CheerBear @Maggie @Sans911 @Shaz51 @Adge @Bunniekins @Razzle @Pepsimax @Snowie @Gazza75 @Appleblossom @Former-Member @BlueBay @eth @Meowmy @Angels333 @TheVorticon @utopia @MDT @TAB @Bimby2 @Teej @frog @Ant7 @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Scarecrowe @Molliex @The-red-centaur @Queenie @Exoplanet @Owlunar @cutiepiekitty and anyone else reading or following this thread

I have a date tonight with my tv and the Hurricanes game @TAB LOL - don't even know who we are playing and might fall asleep while watching but it will likely be the last time I can sit and relax now until after Christmas so I am going to make the most of it.