Thank you everyone for your kind words and support - it has been a good day today. I met with the Principal of the new school and met my class for next year. They were a lovely bunch of kids and I can say now I am looking forward to working with them. The staff I met were lovely as well - so accommodating and helpful - and I have a good feel about the school. The Principal was under the impression that I would be working full-time rather than 4 days a week. I said I would be happy to work full-time again as it is initially only for terms 1 and 2. I have contacted HR and already received a positive reply ...so back to full-time next year.
I honestly do not know how I will cope with it but after a good break over the summer holidays I hope to be back on track again with both my mental and physical health. I know it is going to take a lot of work from me to get back to where I was a couple of months ago but I also know it is possible - and I have a good team around me to help me work through things again.
It is also possible that when the first 2 terms are completed that I may be kept on to teach Art for the remainder of the year @Faith-and-Hope (you would love to be hearing this the most no doubt 
) - so that is encouraging also. There are no definites yet but under the new Teacher Agreement that comes into place mid year next year it includes a reduction of contact hours for all primary teachers - that means those extra hours need to be replaced by a specialist subject to allow teachers the extra time off class - the Principal would like that extra time to be covered by Art and I had already mentioned that I had done that before and would love to do it again so it is envisaged that I can fulfill that role in the second half of the year. It would be an ideal position for me - my dream job in so many ways - so I am very excited about that prospect. I am not getting my hopes up too much just yet but merely the mention of it today has given me a lift.
I had dinner tonight with my sister and her partner but left when they started arguing ....certainly did not need that today. The day had been such a nice day with the school visit and then taking one of my favourite classes in the afternoon ....and I have my 1/2s in the morning - so I wanted to leave before that toxicity ruined how I was feeling. It is those little things that I can walk away from that will help me in my recovery again. I know my sister is under a lot of stress and is still very much mourning the loss of her cat but I also need to look after myself and if that means leaving when things get tense between others then that is what I will do. That is actually real progress for me in itself - knowing when to leave a tricky situation for my own well being and being able to leave it behind me rather than stress about it myself is something I have become so much better at.
As you may have gathered - it has been really difficult for me to engage both online and offline lately - I found myself so worn out and so affected by others' struggles that it was adding more and more pressure and stress onto me. That is obviously not an ideal situation for anyone and taking a step back from everything has helped me get through the last couple of months. I put myself first - and that is not something I would usually do - so it has been both difficult and rewarding. I have really missed the support and friendship from all of you here but knowing that here has also added to my problems it was absolutely necessary for me to take time away. This is in no way a reflection on anyone here or as a result of what you have been and are still going through - it is solely a recognition that I had nothing to give, was no use to anyone and ultimately could not give support without feeling the weight of everything upon myself. I think many of us have felt this at some point and to be both able to recognise and rectify that for ourselves is true progress.
I have thought about everyone every day - there are bonds we form here that mean so much to us all - that can never be underestimated - nor can the real friendships we form. I have said it before but feel it is worth repeating ...you are all special, unique, loved, worthwhile and matter - Mental Illness may unite us but it is the real empathy, care and compassion that each of us hold for each other that truly defines us - through each other we find our voice and through our own experiences we relate to each others' struggles - we all have somewhere we belong and somewhere we can find some solace in the hardest of times - the community is what we make it and the people here are what makes that community work ...keep holding onto hope and to each other and find strength in knowing you are not alone. 
