Far and Away

@oceangirl Have a good day. Enjoy. Take care.

Hey @Zoe7 👋 ☕️💕

I can see you are up and about ..... did you manage a sleep-in this morning ?

I woke in and off across the night - my brain is clearly trying to process something - but managed an 8 hour night overall 🎉. I am finding ai am still a bit on edge, braced for movement and noises that are not there, which tells me that I am a bing hyper vigilant when my mr. is around, if that is what is happening when he is not. Hoping the talk the kids gave me the other night (I know, right ??!) will help me to back off from both that, and the sense of guilt for having had to involve them in ways I would have preferred not to, and now to hand over the reigns to them to handle mr. day-to-day, because he listens to them, and trust them to look after my interests as they move forward on that level. They have given me their blessing to just go, and do, and be my own person while they nurture the family base as the young adults they are now feeing themselves to be.

Hey Hon - fell asleep again watching a show I recorded last night and woke up to your message ...serendipity @Faith-and-Hope

Struggling to get motivated today and not feeling 100% - stomach playing up today but much like you it could be the release of stress over the last coupe of weeks.

There is so much in your post Hon ...a lot of positives from your kids. It is a lot of their shoulders to deal with Mr but such wonderful progress for you all for them to see what is happening and want to deal with it all for both them and yourself. It does release some of the pressure on you and with their encouragement to do what is right for you it also gives you the time and space to achoeve your own goals.

It is massive progress for the kids too - it shows they are gaining confidence in both themselves and speaking up for their own needs - your babies are indeed finding their own way and their own feet ...you have been there for them to allow that to happen so you should not only feel proud of them but also proud of yourself - they could not have come this far without your constant care, role modelling and problem solving under massive duress at times. Your kids are a reflection of how much you have given to allow them to find this path for themselves Hon - now is the time for you. Loosening those reigns by Mr is now up to how much the kids push back against his control and how independently they move forward on their own terms. I know you will always be there for them but it must feel good to see how much they see and how much they love you to encourage you to follow your own path.

I do see how on edge you are when Mr is around - read it in your posts and really feel for you. The hyper vigilance and being constantly on edge is draining in itself so allow yourself that time right now to relax as much as your can. I do know that is easier said than done especially when you jump at any noise or even imagine noises and movement that are not there. The only advice I have is to give it time, get plenty of rest when you can and do as much self-care as you can to help you relax a little.

Hearing you Hon and sitting with you as always

Thank you @Zoe7, and you’re right. I went to the coffee shop in my pyjamas with coat, scarf and uggies thrown in top .... and it’s going to remain a pyjama day until I need to go out again this afternoon. In fact, it will be pyjama week around uni classes and appointments ..... lol .....

We are heading west in drinks and drabs this time, as there are differences in the unit breaks for those of us studying, and my mr. will be coming back to sit here with one as I fly out, and coming back west with that one at the end of the following week, so this will be a two week break from his regimen all up ...... so pyjama fortnight by the looks of it 😆

haha @Faith-and-Hope I am planning on a jammies fortnight when our holidays come around in a few weeks too so very much with you on that one. Do what you need to do Hon

It will be good for you to have such a long break from the regimen and to also have time to yourself in amongst it all too. I do hope you get some quality time with friends when back west and some walks in along your river. Something I am looking forward to is the weather improving and getting back to the beach with Toby - it has been way too long - both avoiding people and not having the energy but feeling more positive that I can get back to that now.

A day of sorting out and watching footy for me today. It is still raining here so an inside day is okay. I still have to get the things out of the car to sort out but waiting for a break in the rain. If I can get that all done today then tomorrow when it is supposed to be clearer I can organise the things for the Art Expo. Planning on nailing the remaining fence palings together to make two small fences to display the birdhouses on ...then will head out to the bush to find a larger branch to add into the display. It will look great if I can pull it off - time might be my enemy there though.

Is your appointment this afternoon for nails or neck massage?

Neck massage @Zoe7 ..... I ended up cancelling it last week .... (actually, after I forgot about it and missed it and they rang me .... whoops 🤭😬 ..... things had turned a bit messy for D3 when we were out shopping) ..... so it’s overdue and probably what some of my flatness is about too.

whoops - these things happen @Faith-and-Hope especially when you had to help D3. Hope it is a great release of some of that stress for you today

Been snoozing on and off with Toby this afternoon - waiting for the footy to begin Feel like I could sleep all aftrenoon so if that happens so be it - as long as I am up for our game tonight and can get things done tomorrow.

My finger is still very sore and swollen but I have feeling back in it today. It is funny typing not using that finger - definitely slower

Oh @Sans911 that is so sweet to hear. We may not have kids but we have our fur babies and I know how well you look after them Hon. This Art Expo will be set up for 2 days. It seems we have done a hell of a lot of work for just 2 days but the kids will have something to take home that they can keep forever if they choose - and that is a wonderful feeling to have knowing that. You are right - my patience has been tested these past couple of weeks lol - but it has also been wonderful watching the kids work together, assign each other roles and then pass that on to others. Yesterday I let them loose with hammers, nails, glue and the drill to add on whatever they wanted. One kid drilled about another 8 holes into his base and hammered in nails ...to make it more secure - that made me giggle. The nails were bent in all different diretions but he was so proud of his efforts I also had a long line up of kids wanting to glue pieces on. None of them complained - they just waited patiently - again so lovely to witness. Then I looked at the mess we had in the classroom - there were polystyrene balls, feathers and paling off-cuts absolutely everywhere - it looked like someone had literally picked up the boxes of everything and thrown them in the air. The kids did clean most of it up ...and surprisingly the most work was done unexpectedly from kids who did not usually do much so that was rewarding for me to see but was also recognised by their other classmates - that is gold.

@Faith-and-Hope Finally got the washing out and on the clothes horse, folded the clothes that were already on there and put away Toby's toys. The rain has eased so I will get the things out of the car at half time in the footy. Cat is already out of her room looking for her dinner so she seems to have got over whatever was making her feel unwell - little sweetheart loves to talk at me lol

Have you had your neck massage yet? How is your uni work coming along today?