Far and Away

Wow @Zoe7 ..... that is so full on !! No wonder you’re feeling all over the place ..... anyone would be 😕

I hope your Dad is okay, I will be waiting to hear.

I am so sorry to hear that DBT was so triggering Hon. That sucks all by itself ......

The reason I mentioned the coping box was not so much about taking something out of it, although if that would be helpful it is a good idea ..... it was more about what you might put into it.

You have your notebook or iPad there presumably ? When you can scramble any energy for it at all, can you find an image of a peacock feather that appeals to you, and print it off, cut it out, and write a word or phrase onto the back of it ? Something that reminds you about why you like peacock feathers .....

I am guessing you have a laminating machine, or access to one ..... and can laminate one image after another ..... when and as you feel able to. Post them into your coping box.

You won’t even have to look at them to know they are there .....

These are touchstones for you to bring to mind when you want to, because they exist in a physical form.

My mum has to take my dad to hospital tomorrow and she is not well. She doesn't go back to her doctor for her results until Friday. This will be her second week off work being sick herself. I can't take any time off work because I have no sick days and I need the money. If I had the day off I wouldn't get paid and I have so many things to pay off.

DBT today was really difficult @Faith-and-Hope It was also the last day with the facilitator as she is on leave for my final session next week. It is coming to an end there for me and whilst I will be happy to have the Wednesdays off I will also miss that support.

I am also doubting if I can take a class for next term - maybe I am too unwell still to even think about it.

Try not to worry that far ahead just yet @Zoe7 . A week or two can make a big difference once you do start to pick up again, and you know sleep interference makes a big difference to you, as it does for most of us.

Do you think there might be a meds-balance that could be checked too ?

That is a good idea @Faith-and-Hope I have those stones and your prints that I can look at too ...and my necklace that I wear every day. Small things that do mean a lot.

Yes there probably needs to be a re-visiting of my meds too @Faith-and-Hope It feels like this has been coming for a while now and maybe we need to look at my meds again. I feel like I am going backwards at an alarming rate this past week and while there have been reasons for that I should not be feeling this hopeless again.

Even taking photos of those items, naming them by what they mean to you, laminating them and posting them into your coping box is increasing their presence in your life @Zoe7 .....

I would like to suggest that you also make some papier-mâché miniatures for yourself.

Is that something you can organise from tomorrow (meds) @Zoe7 ? It’s concerning me too how quickly you have dropped in mood. There might be something that can be done quite quickly about that ..... so definitely raise the flag as soon as you can. Is it possible to fire off an email tonight ?

Definitely not capable of the headspace to do any papier mache right now but would be good to have that up my sleeve for later. The photos are a good idea though. I could also put a couple of them up near my desk at work @Faith-and-Hope

My pdoc is away until the end of next week so not able to contact her. I can contact my GP but she won't be able to help with meds as my pdoc does all that now. One day at a time is about all I can handle but there feels like so much happening and I dont know where to start. I couldn't even tell my mum about work and even though I told my dad when I picked him up his mind was quite obviously elsewhere. Very much feeling like the world is against me again - but we have been here before hey.

Yeah we have @Zoe7 ..... 💐💕

Easy does it ..... lots of self-care and baby steps. We can do this ......

I had baby dragon turbulence here today, but one of those I can’t write about here ..... the tide has turned on it now, but it was a really roller-coastery day.

Some wonderful news arrived too ..... one of my artworks has been accepted into a private collection somewhere special🌷. I can’t say more than that ..... but it was good and not-good in quick succession there, and I was choking back tears in class. The storm is over for now, and a pic of my artwork is going into my coping box next ..... gotta buy me one of those little laminating machines .....

Seeing you here tonight and chatting with you has been a real pick-me-up for me, even though you still feel so low in this moment. Thinking of you planning papier-mâché miniatures has put a smile on my dial ..... ❣️