Far and Away

Thank you @Zoe7 ..... I know there is always a soft-fall waiting here for me at the end of a long, emotional day .....

@BryanaCamp , I tend to think of personality traits being helpful or unhelpful to the circumstances you’re in, rather than “good” or “bad” per se. The same thing that can be harmful in one setting can be an asset in another. If I were ever in a war zone, the same people I have had to put defences up against would be just the ones you would want on your team, for their strength of survival stragegies and “take no prisoners” attitude.

We are not at war however, and they have not learned to moderate their responses, or they are reactive to threats, real or perceived, to their happiness and sense of stability ...... but that also doesn’t make it my problem to try to resolve of it goes beyond normal civilities and politeness. That is the point where professional counselling is required, to help undo unuseful behaviour patterns and replace them with ones that better serve their interests.

All that being said, empathy can come in the form of not allowing someone to continually upset you, because it’s just as not-good for them as it is for you. And offering very little beyond a polite return-greeting is a very good way of handling such difficult circumstances as you have there. Wtg ❣️

Always a soft fall here Hon - whenever you need @Faith-and-Hope 💕🌹😘

I hope you are getting some of your homework done @Faith-and-Hope Just beginning to wind down here ready to head to bed soon. Have a bit to do tomorrow but hoping not to be home too late - need as much rest as I can get. Do you have much on tomorrow apart from uni?

I am getting heaps on work done here @Zoe7 👍 ..... really pleased with it all.

Uni is full-on tomorrow, so I need to head to bed shortly too.

All the best with your appointment, and I am glad the morning is not a rush for you.

💚

So pleased you are getting your work done @Faith-and-Hope It feels good to be getting into something we enjoy doesn't it

Toby has just gone outside so I will be heading to bed as soon as he comes in. I'll give him and Cat a cuddle from you. Goodnight Hon - enjoy tomorrow 🌹💕😘

Goodnight @Zoe7 Cat and Toby ..... 💚🐾🐾 💤

Afternoon @Faith-and-Hope I had a pretty interesting session with my pdoc today but I will write about that more later on ANC. I know this is your big day at uni so hoping you got enough sleep last night to help you get through. I am going to be spending some time this afternoon resting/sleeping as I had a pretty ordinary night. I need to catch up a little and get some of the negaitvity out of my head as well. Will check in on you across the afternoon to see how you are

thanks so much for your help @Faith-and-Hope and @Zoe7 about people skills. I guess it can be hard for everyone at certain times with certian people.

I appreciate you both have a lot on your plate so it is really kind of you to take the time & effort to help me out, it means a lot.

That's a great concept that empathy can be not continually letting someone upset you F&H, it's an excellent re-frame that I'd never have thought of. I often feel empathy has to be some kind of self-sacrifice but "tough love" is important too and a very healthy thing.

I hope things went well with your pdoc @Zoe7 today and you've had a chance to recharge on your day off. Hope your homelife and homework is relatively peaceful today @Faith-and-Hope thanks again x

@BryanaCamp We all have moments or people in our lives that we find difficult. Sometimes we need to hold our breath, take a breath or breath through. By that I mean on occasions we are faced with a situation that we have no control over and it is best for us to hold our thoughts, keep them to ouselves and just get through the situation. On other occasions we need to take a breath and decide whether it is worth saying something and whether we will be in a more precarious position if we do say something. The last is breath through - we know that a situation is not right but we need to decide whether to act or not - whether to say nothing to keep ourselves safe (physically or mentally) but it is still appropriate to acknowledge our feelings and then let them go for our own wellbeing OR to stand up for what we believe and think so the other person is aware of our feelings.

Like and relationships are at times very hard so it is inevitable that we get it wrong sometimes - that does not mean we will always get it wrong but in that particular situation we did. I think it is important to acknwledge that to be able to move on to the next interaction. This one you have with this man at your volunteering gig is a hard one for you to get through because your values do not align with his but you turn up each week and do that job regardless - it is important to acknowledge that to yourself - that despite the obstacles in your way your objective remains the same - to give back to others - and that is to be admired.

👋💕 @Zoe7 @BryanaCamp ..... heading to ANC thread .....