Far and Away

@Faith-and-Hope

I am struggling a little tonight @Faith-and-Hope

I told my GP what happened yesterday. She could see how tired I was and knew I hadn't had much sleep. I kind of wished I hadn't told her because she then talked about someone being in her mother's yard and looking in the window. I was more settled before she said that and I really wanted to tell her to stop talking but I couldn't.

I finally got some more sleep when I came home but my mind was still in over-drive so of course it wasn't a restful sleep.

Having both appointments today and triggering 'stuff' from both is affecting me tonight. My throat is sore again also - a combination of the cold and having to talk this morning. I think it is also affected by how cold it was last night and me not being able to move for large periods of time - I was too scared and feeling too anxious most of the night. I finally fell asleep on the couch but didn't have anything over me to keep me warm.

@Faith-and-Hope I have a fever again tonight along with my sore throat and tightness in my chest. I am really tired of being unwell. Yesterday (and my appointments today) have all set me back both physically and mentally. I am beyond frustrated! I know that what happened yesterday has caused this because of my fears and being unable to sleep. Even though I have been unwell for weeks I have been looking after myself as best I can - doing everything my GP has suggested (or prescribed). I tried to do something as simple as paint a small fence and look what happens

I hope I am asleep when you read this but I have a feeling I won't be...

@Faith-and-Hope Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

I leave on Friday for HNL.

@Zoe7 Thinking of you too. Shake yesterday off and continue to look after you. How was your appointments today? Have you been able to eat? I am heading to bed soon, I have a early start tomorrow.

@oceangirl 'Shaking off' yesterday is easier said than done - there are too many similarities/triggers from what I had to deal with for years - so not that easy to move on from.

@Faith-and-Hope Toby is curled up sound asleep and having puppy dreams Cat is asleep near the heater

It is about 2 degrees here and supposed to rain for most of the next week. The weather pretty much mirrors by mood.

I hope you are having a good night and feeling ok

It's been a good night here @Zoe7 ....

Things are quiet at the moment. WH's Regimen is still in place. He can identify with nothing else. Even in response to some of the things the counsellor said yesterday, his response was, "you know I don't believe that !"

This is the time in-between. I am so tired within myself from walking my path too, but I have to keep walking anyway. Sometimes there are small changes we can hardly notice. We think nothing is happening, but it is. Little by little, in tiny increments things get worked out .... I guess like the changes in the rising and setting of the sun with the changing seasons .... the days slowly grow longer, till they arrive at the next solstice .... then they begin grow shorter again .... but we don't notice. We are not out there on the ground with a measuring tape every day, measuring the length of the shadows and where they lay on the ground in their elliptical path like ancient men of science did. The incremental daily changes evade our attention, but they are there.

This is dawn on Santorini ....