Far and Away

ohhh sitting with you my sister @Zoe7

I am so relieved to hear from you @Zoe7 ❤️🦋🌹💞💐❣️ ..... I have been so worried about your latest health issue ..... completely at a loss for words, only that you keep floating through it all Hon. You have been working through such an intense year / set of circumstances with so much strength, and at times like these it is hard to understand even where that comes from ...... somewhere deep inside.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so hurt and let down. It's not anything I would wish for you ..... ever ..... and I hope it is not something I have inadvertently added to. I have been trying to keep the horrible nature of my latest s2bx battles off this thread, knowing that you are still deep in grief, even apart from these health results, and just don't need further emotional burdens to carry, but maybe that has made me seem distant. I am so sorry if that is how it has appeared. Far from it ..... I have just been too exhausted within myself to try to put my thoughts and feelings into words ...... words have felt far away, unless I am angry and they tumble out everywhere.

I am lighting a candle for you every day and praying for you. My energy is at a really low ebb, right when I need to get up and go into a new semester, but you know all about that. You have had the same battle fir so long. For me, that is probably to do with everything on my legal fronts coming to a head. I feel strangely calm about that, but very tired. I have done all I can and now have to wait on the outcomes dictated by those who are now in control of our circumstances.

Even through my fatigue I am feeling how fatigued you must be, and while I am glad in a sense that there is a medical reason for it - because reasons can lead to intervention / recovery / healing ..... the nature of the medical reason is one that is resulting in an extreme physical exhaustion for you, quite apart from the emotional fatigue.

Please, please take care of yourself. I am sustaining myself with thoughts of being able to visit Tassie in the not-too-far-fetched future, and your descriptions of your space within the land have helped to keep that dream alive. It's something that I continue to hope for.

Sending love and hugs Sweetheart ...... always with you in my thoughts and heart.

❤️

@Zoe7 ..... keep strong.

@Zoe7 sorry about this, and sorry if I've contributed. @ @ I often feel the same and need to pull back and tell myself the painful blows are unintended (not deliberate), and everyone's just doing the best they can.

Digital communities are woefully inadequate at meeting needs I feel, absuppliment really, but we need to build strong connections irl MORE (talking to myself when I say that) cause we got to to survive in the real world. Hope the homefront is kind to you atm?. I do Miss you 🙏

@Faith-and-Hope 🙏

Hugzz-n-Hugzz 💙😢💙

Missing you lots @Zoe7 and thinking about you every day.

Please take care and thank you so much for checking in.

Loving hugs 🤗 💜

@Zoe7 thank you for checking in, we have missed you dreadfully. I am so sorry to learn how you feel and pray I haven't added to this. I would never intentionally hurt you. You are very special and I am grateful for the times you have held my hand in times of need. I think of you every baked dinner and this will be something that stays with me always. I wish you nothing but good in life. I hope one day you can return. I will also light a candle for you my very special friend 🤗🙏🐾🐕🐈🐾💜💚🕯️

❤️ @Zoe7

Sending lots of love and hugs to @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 💖💜

This is the possibly hardest thing I have ever had to write…

@Faith-and-Hope I am disappointed that with all that we have been through together that you feel you could not share your latest battles with me. In saying that though you have every right to share that with who you feel you want to and to whoever would give you the support you need. It does hurt that you have felt I would not be there for you or could not handle that despite my own ongoing issues. What really hurt was coming across by accident your announcement about your divorce. I know I am being selfish and possibly expecting too much but I did honestly think you would tell me that directly when it happened. I do not for one minute think you had any intention of hurting me and that really is my issue to deal with but I need to be honest with you as it has felt I have now lost the two most important people in my life. It is a re-affirmation for me of just how alone I am and that I have placed too much importance on one relationship – one that I really wanted to believe was something unique and special in my life. It does not stop the love I have for you nor does it change how amazing I think you are but it does feed my long held fear that I am placing too much pressure on one person to always be there – through all the good times and the bad for both of us. I do not know how to navigate this presently but I also do not want you to feel bad about any of this. As I said – it is my issue to find my way through and I am the only one that can do that. You have many, many people here that you can share with and can help to hold you up as you yourself navigate your own fatigue and ongoing settlement issues with s2bx. Keep them close, keep knowing your own amazing strength, grace and courage and keep your own dreams alive throughout. You are one in a million and I will always value what you have brought into my life and the absolute pleasure it has been in knowing such a beautiful soul. Will love you forever …my guardian angel 😇💕🌈

To everyone else - sending you all light, love and hope for a better life to come. Lean on each other, support each other and know what a difference it does make to have such special people that you all are in each others' lives. Hugs and hugs and hugs 💖