@Faith-and-Hope It is just after 1am and I am still up (obviously). I have been thinking a lot about you tonight for so many different reasons ...so I am going to do the only thing I know how to right now and put it all into words.
I know you are going through some really difficult times and I am very worried about you. I do know you will do what you need to do to get through all this but I also know that what you are having to deal with is both mentally draining and emotionally taking it's toll. You are also isolated both in location and because of the lockdown so that also would be difficult to live with. Being unable to have that social outlet with classes, unable to relax in a coffee shop, visit a gallery, walk by the water and 'escape' from your reality there would no doubt be making life just that little bit more difficult. Being cut off from your family, not being able to visit your kids back west - especially at this time for one of your baby dragons - and having D3 and S2 so close but dealing with their own isolation and mental health issues also would be so hard for you. On top of that you have to deal with the aftermath of D2 being with her father and all that brings to your doorstep when she returns. I honesty do not know how you are staying on top of everything with such massive obstacles in your way. I also know that right now it is taking all your effort to do that. You may come out of all this so much stronger but to me you are already the strongest person I know. In saying that though I can see and feel the pain, the hurt and how much it is taking all your effort and time to stay on top of everything. The legal and emotional mindgames that He is playing is having an enormous effect on you. I do have confidence that you will look after yourself but I also know that there is always a breaking point for everyone. You will no doubt be reaching out to your friends and family to help you through this but being so physically alone would still be difficult. I very much worry about you every day Hon because I care so much and cannot bear to see what this is all doing to you. I can see it in your words ...and moreso in what you do not write. I wish more than anything in my life right now that I could take all this away from you and that you could be with your kids, your friends and family back west to feel their love, their care and support you. As that is not possible know that when you need I am here for you ...whatever is going on for me right now is not as important to me as you are - know that, believe that and hold onto that for you are the most amazing women I have ever had the fortune to meet. You know I love you and would do anything I could to ease this pain but some things we have to do on our own. Know that I will always be holding you close in heart and mind and carrying you with me everywhere because some people in this world make a difference to our lives and that is to be cherished. My world is so much better for having met you and having you in it 💜💙💚🧡💖💛😘
