Far and Away

I know he would not want me to be in this position @Faith-and-Hope nor would he want me to be feeling like this. It would be his smile and humour that would shine a light - could never forget that smile It was always the little things that I loved about him the most - we were so comfotable in each other's company whether it be in person or messaging. I have those messages to hold onto now and when I am ready the loveliest photo of him with that beaming smile that I can print out. I am not quite ready to do that yet - I think that will be some time away. He would want me to continue to live my life and to do the job I love - especially now I am teaching art. We had that in common - he painted also

I know it will take time (and be in it's own time). I have those fears that I will end up back where I was and lose what I have began rebuilding - but I suppose knowing that is also the first step to hopefully stopping that slide before it becomes irretrievable again. All those memories of what happened with that other school are sitting right in the foreground of my thinking too and I feel I cannot trust the support I am receiving presently. It is hard to trust that when history has been quite the opposite - even though I have felt the kindness and support from everyone at work there is still that fear.

I do know that a little part of him will always be with me - he was the one that helped me get out of the house and trust in men again - and that is no small thing. We could also talk openly about our mental health and know when one of us was not so good and even though it was just a friendship there was real love for each other. I am so grateful to have had him in my life and that will be something I will always hold onto. I cannot imagine this world without him though and that is what I will need to work through.

@Angels333 Thankyou so much for your thoughts Hon. I hope I didn't keep you from working on your assignment

❤️🦋 @Zoe7

How has your day been Hon? @Faith-and-Hope

Productive @Zoe7 ...... I made a drawing, and worked on. Sculpture, and on some Photoshop stuff. I did some washing in between, put shopping away, sent some emails, and prepared breakfast, lunch and dinner for D2 and me.

Back on Photoshop now.

It was lovely weather here today, but rain starting shortly, and forecast for the rest of the week.

A very productive day for you @Faith-and-Hope 👍 It is really lovely to hear you have done so much of what you enjoy. We are expecting rain for the rest of the week also but I can't see I will be out in it other than for appointments so it won't bother me. Has Nelly been helping you with your work again?

😏 She has come and walked all over the keyboard a few times @Zoe7 . She has realised that if she snuggles my hand while I am holding the mouse I can't get any work done ..... lol

Cheeky puss !!

She is a cheeky puss @Faith-and-Hope but it is super cute also 😺💕

I have my super snuggly Tobes sticking pretty close to me tonight - mind you he has not left my side all day giving me lots of kisses and curling up on my lap a lot. Cat is in her room happily sleeping but I will give her a cuddle soon too before I head to bed island. I am going to try to sleep there tonight but have the couch ready just in case it doesn't happen.

I hope you get the work done you want to tonight and tomorrow is a good day for you Hon. I need to try to get up and moving a little more tomorrow - right now I can't see that happening but I need to try. See how tonight goes and then think about tomorrow when it gets here.

Hugs and hugs and hugs t both you and Nelly (and one for D2 also) 💜💙💚🧡💛💖

Thank you @Zoe7 ...... hugs and tummy tickles for Tobes

💚🦋🌷💤

Toby does love his tummy tickles so I will pass that on to him from you happily @Faith-and-Hope

I am going to try to get some sleep now Hon. I hope you are not far away yourself (it is nearly pumpkin hour). Don't work too long tonight and give Nelly a pat from me. Goodnight sweetheart

Good morning lovely ladies, I hope you both have an ok day. Sending you both love and light. @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope