Alcohol & Personality Changes

Hi @Former-Member,

I have another question, do you feel like alcohol is a trigger for dissociation for you ?

Hey @Sahara,

I'm thankful your family are well behaved, I wish mine were!

When the alcohol wears off the next day, do you feel like your anxiety is worse?

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@Nikolai wrote:

Hey @Sahara,

When the alcohol wears off the next day, do you feel like your anxiety is worse?

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It depends on how much I've had to drink... I would say that anything more than 2 drinks does make my anxiety worse once it wears off. If I have more than 2 drinks, I go into damage control... I have to eat something and then drink a lot of water. The next day I need more water and especially O.J, like I mentioned before. Sometimes I'll just have a few more drinks by lunch-time the next day... which works to get rid of the anxiety on the short term; but it's a very bad habit!

Right now I am on day 5 alcohol free... I was almost tempted a few hours ago to take a drink but I resisted.

I find the same thing when I go past two drinks @Sahara

Even if I don't have a hangover as such the anxiety is always something that I get the next day, particularly if I have been drinking around other people. I think it might be because when I was a bit younger I tended to do and say things completely out of character for me, and I wouldn't be able to remember any of it.

Nothing worse than spending the next day dreading someone telling you what you did.

Congratulations on 5 days!

Hi @Nikolai,

well, the good thing is that if everyone else was drinking too, then they probably wouldn't recall what you said or wouldn't care anyway. They would probably be more concerned with their own social blunders.

I guess if no-one comes forward and tells you something, then you should consider yourself in the clear!

As far as I know I have never upset someone by saying or doing anything while I was drinking.... and perhaps if I did, then it was easily forgiven (I hope.)

With me, it's more a concern that I avoid all my emotions by medicating them with alcohol. It's pure escapism for me. It is a very ingrained behavior.

What worries me is that yesterday, I was actually experiencing some very unexpected pleasant emotions looking at an old photo. This seemed to make me anxious for some reason??? I can't go into detail now... it's a bit complex.

Then I wanted very badly to reach for a drink! Even with pleasant emotions I felt some fear.... I suppose I should talk to a professional about this. But I have often thought that I am not permitted to feel happy, for some unknown reason. So I self-medicate.

I mean, you can understand someone wanting to avoid sadness or anger....

Day 6 alcohol free today.

Hi @Nikolai,

I am sorry to hear that you have hurt people while drinking... can you make amends with them? It's always best to say you are sorry. What they do with your apology is up to them... forgiveness comes slowly for some.

I know I have hurt people with my anger in the past. I can really fly off the handle.. It doesn't seem to be related to drinking. I feel very bad afterwards. But we are all only human and we make mistakes.

When I say it's not related to drinking... I mean it doesn't happen when I'm drinking, but I'm sure it would be all part on the same emotional problem set that I have.

@Nikolai, it does make my dissociation worse... pretty much anything chemical does strange things with my dissociation and alcohol is part of that. Generally speaking, our dissociation now is functional - as in, it helps with maintaining work, relationships etc. rather than inhibiting them - but too much drinking messes with that in pretty dramatic ways.

Hi @Sahara

I have always profusely apologised, and I am genuinely sorry for what I do.

Even if my apology is accepted the shame of what I have done stays with me for years.

I know that the simple answer is to just not drink, but it is the last self-destructive behaviour I have, and in comparison to the others I have had in the past it is very much the lesser evil.

@Former-Member, I have only ever had mild dissociative symptoms, but they definitely are intensified by alcohol.

Are you on medication at the moment?