Just checking in.

@Zoe7. It's awful when you have a hard or unhelpful session with your psychologist. Regardless of the reason, I'm hoping you got something from the session anyway.
Do you have any plans for tonight? Or will yiu be like me & just take it easy and pop in and out of the forum all evening?

Ok elephant in room time.. I was wondering why people often say on here 'going to psych was bad' .. then delved further in memory and realised maybe it's all fine til 'hard questions' are asked.. well re me .. ie you may have helped me a little bit re feeling better and I felt better seeing someone.. then it came to the crunch of plans, 'have to's..' so walked away in my case telling self was wiser and better than that having taken what made me feel good and left the rest rotting on the table.. can anyone relate to this??..

Yes @TAB. I definitely relate to what you are saying. I'm living this point right now and trying to sort it out in my head.
I think when there is an immediate crisis and we need a hand or a psych chat - we are happy to have the help on that issue.
It may be we don't want to delve into the harder stuff - wanting to avoid the pain.
Or it may be - that when in therapy, other rhings come up that we weren't aware of. And then we need to decide if we want to delve in 'there'.
As humans I think we are hard wired to avoid pain as much as possible. As people living with MI - we probably have a huge amount ofpain and trauma and sstories to work through.
And today I'm tired of working through them. Today I'm tired of talking about them with a therapist and seeing no end in site.
At some point, I just want it to stop. To be finished.

.. with the system hoping? .. just one of those moments when realised I cant even pretend to be 'accountable' I'll call it xmas itis.. and keep wallpapering.. til I actually do something/anything .. I could do.. to change how I feel

Pretty much😀 Have found self in a 'tizz' re facing going home to parents/siblings

Thank u so much @Faith-and-Hope...your words mean much.
Thanks you @TAB, @Former-Member, @Former-Member...my day has been quite full, including a tummy bug. 😏
I just typed a long reply, to loose it grrr...
Well I won't be travelling 3hr to my family's doo plus return. I'll only be doing 2 hours for the boys to see their dad's in between seeing partner parents doo on Xmas day.
Reality is as I tried telling mum, my life isn't perfect, it will never change. I live fragmented, so do the boys ..it's our reality.
She has got quite nasty all over my boys not receiving her gifts under her tree in Xmas eve.
I said I can come when they return from their dad's mid Jan. She said it's not the same, and presents later looses the meaning.
Well @Faith-and-Hope I'm like you, it's about the experience. For my boys going to three different places in two days, plus excessive travel isn't fun.
It's exhausting, and we are all tired of the silly court orders my partner placed but manipulates.
It's hard work, but I know in my heart my kids will much prefer to be at one place with their cousins, enjoying lunch, presents, then to come home.
I told mum I didn't want to upset myself any further on it.
I'm quite surprised she can't understand.
I initially said could I come the night early so my boys could be there of the morning at her place, before having to go to their dad's. She wasn't overly keen, and then my ex partner was being difficult anyway at police station and cancelled that idea from happening. In between he's renegged.
sheesh.
I'm now ok with what I've decided. I'm not a child anymore. I dint like having to play second guess every step I take anymore.
I explained to mum my siblings and their children will still be there, but she wasn't happy.
Oh well.
so my day!!