Just checking in.

Dear crazy cat ladies @CheerBear, @Sans911 😜😘

@eth, @Zoe7, @outlander and anyone else reading (and @Faith-and-Hope)

After lots of panic attacks today I rang Centrelink and asked to speak to a social worker. I ended up with someone who was really kind, patient and helpful. He has put me on exemption until I can see my psychiatrist and then have a job capacity assessment. I don’t have to go tomorrow to my job network appointment and to tell the truth I’m scared that I might not have made it there.

I know ive got to get passed this. I just can’t do it now. After I was put together on Friday night I ended up enrolling in a free online course about learning to learn. I haven’t been able to do it since. Today I couldn’t remember my phone number (for anyone who knows me numbers and dates are the one thing I usually remember) and they had to tell me I had it correct after lots of stuttering and stammering 🤦‍♀️. Driving this morning took a mammoth effort in concentration trying to keep to the speed limit and in the same lane and knowing when to turn at t junctions. There were a few times I had cars banked up behind me 😳🤦‍♀️. I’m so hoping I can try to do this course now, it’s a bit of a self test.

One day I hope to have passed all this and be working so I can be a crazy dogs lady, for now I’m just a crazy lady with a crazy dog in the crazy heat ☺️🥵

It is so good your talked to someone who was helpful @Teej and even better you have that exemption for now and don't need to go to the jib network meeting. Maybe things are beginning to swing your way Hon - you so need it at the moment

You can get to that stage one day where you can be working and be a crazy dogs person - if I can get to where I have so far then I have so much confidence that you can too. You have come so far already and without this last round of difficulties from centrelink and the job network you were really do okay - you can get back to that stage and even better. Everything crossed here for you to achieve that Teej

Hi @Teej and @Zoe7

Great result from talking to the social worker @Teej. One less pressure. Sending warm wishes and thinking of you.

Thanks @eth, @Zoe7. I was riding on the back of your (and others) successes and achievements until I got smashed in a way I couldn’t cope with. Here’s hoping we all get to go forward.

@Zoe7 I’m keeping my eyes peeled for any news when it comes your way and also waiting patiently (ok I’m trying) to find out.

💜🤗

Don't worry @Teej - I'll certainly let you know when I do You have been along this crazy ride with me for so long now and I appreciate every minute of it. Some days are still hard Hon but the better days are beginning to come more frequently - I so want that for you too It can happen - I am proof of that - but it does take for things to finally fall your way as well and that can be difficult to navigate. You will get back to where you were because despite what you sometimes think - you are one strong, capable and courageous woman and I admire how you bounce back even when things seem insummountable. I have taken so much from you in the last couple of years and one that stands out is the inner fight you really do have - keep that going Teej - you got this - I believe in you

Hi @eth Hope you have had a good day too Hon

I'm checking in. Not doing so great. Worked my arse off all weekend in that awful place (hospital for medication review) on an assignment I was wanting to finish, only to fail it. I hate myself already, now this. Teetering on the edge.

Oh no @Queenie, can you resubmit? I know you’d be feeling yuk about it but I’m hoping you can claw this one back. 💜🤗

It was an out and out fail @Teej. I can resubmit but I don’t know what went wrong. Given my failure rate outweighs my passes recently, I think I’m still skating on thin ice from when I was hospitalised for three weeks. If the children weren’t here I’d probably get drunk but they are so I’m holed up in the bedroom crying instead. How pathetic!

Not pathetic @Queenie. I’d feel it that heavy too.

When you are through the crappy heavy feelings can you message/email/contact

your lecturer to see where you went wrong. I’m probably the last one to say this because failure for me feels the biggest overwhelming death defying thing ever. It takes days to get through the emotion.