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I thought I'd start a discussion where we can check in with members and use this space to keep in contact. It's a space to be able to say how you really feel and it's a space for the good, the bad and the ugly moments in our lives.
In response to: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
hi @eth. This is Brené Brown BRAVING acronym for trust. I added a video of her talking about it too. I really like how it is tangible stuff. Thanks for the support. I think I just wrote that post from my heart without thinking too much. I’m not sure how I’ll handle it all yet but I think I’m understanding it all a bit better......still lots of fear. 💜🤗
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
@CheerBear I think I understand a little more about what you are (and are not feeling). I can imagine that you are feeling this relationship can’t be more work than the enjoyment it brings when it feels so laden with expectations. I was talking yesterday to someone who is in a new relationship with lots of doubts as well and very much like you wanting to enjoy time with someone. I recoiled thinking that I’d forgotten how much work goes into relationships too. I admit defeat and know I am not ready for any of it yet. I think you (like me) have lots of relationships that you are already working on and balancing. For me that is 4 kids, three girlfriends 2 parents I brother 1 good friend and a crazy needy dog. I struggle to give to them all that is needed for good relationships. I think I feel all your doubts about adding another in and that is without any of the fallout from Big Bang stuff.
I guess from from my perspective you need to just reinforce this with him. If he finds a way to manage the tricky for you stuff then that is up to him but not your responsibility if you have laid boundaries and have been honest. Yep as I write I think easier said than done. It’s much easier sitting on my high horse just now 😝.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
You're very right there @Teej about this needing to be not more work than enjoyment and about the tricky that comes with managing lots of relationships at once. He jokes that I'm up high on his list of priorities and he's way down on mine, but it's true for my list and I don't feel bad about it, or I try not to at least. I was very, very clear about it being that way as far as my priorities, right from the start and his list is not my responsibility. (Felt a little funny when I read back and wanted to fix this part up). Right from the start I also made it clear that 'friend' and 'fun' was all I wanted. I was doing well at reinforcing this but I think the little pickle/big oopsies really complicated a lot and maybe things have been a bit harder in a way since. It took what was 'fun' to 'we might have a child together' which made me think long and hard about him in a different way and blurred some lines there maybe. I can still feel guilty (and sad, regretful, hurt etc.) and those kinds of feelings make red coloured flags a bit easier to happen and alarm systems more wobbly too I think.
So I'm also now feeling pretty terrible that I've spoken about him like this today, though it did help to spill and hear some thoughts. Plus maybe it helps to be honest (with myself) that this is not happy lala land all the time. Some ongoing work with psych (if I can ever get my annoying NDIS plan sorted) and the counsellor (if I can tolerate it) might help. Will leave it at that for now, thanking you heaps for listening (catching a CB wobble) and sharing 👍🙂❤
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Hi @CheerBear @Teej Wondering how your weekends have been 
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Zoe7Senior Contributor
I look forward to it @CheerBear 
There is an update on Far and Away for you also - will catch up with you tomorrow Hon - pretty exciting having another fur baby
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
TeejSenior Contributor
Hiya @Zoe7, @CheerBear
AM SO TIRED. Had a busy weekend tidying and cleaning. Have had so much on my mind but not been able to communicate any of it 😐
bit exciting @CheerBear 😄.
Havent forumed much. Will read farand away @Zoe7 for an update.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
Zoe7Senior Contributor
It sounds like you have been flat out this past weekend @Teej and that can be a good thing to keep us from thinking too much. I hope it has helped you being so busy but also know once you stop those things you have been dealing with creep back in again - thinking of you with all that you are sitting with Teej
@CheerBear Itty bitty kitty would be so adorable to watch - they are so cute when they are tiny Does kitty have a name yet? I am also looking forward to a photo when kitty can sit still long enough to take one ...I know how much they move around when they are little - so cute!!!
Today is 'get frame finished day' - I am going to head outside as early as I can to finish the frame then I can start measuring and cutting the sheets to put up. I don't think I have enough nails though so may need a Bunnings trip today as well.
Hope you both have a good day - will update you as I go when I can.
In response to: Re: Just checking in.
CheerBearSenior Contributor
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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