Just checking in.

That will be fabulous @utopia to have knocked off those big bills early in the year. I haven't had my car serviced for two years now and it desperately needs it. My son needs to learn to drive it but I'm feeling unsure as it's running so rough so I need to try and find the money for that too.

Nothing much is happening for me. I am very lost and confused with my world at the moment. I had some tumultuous events over a week ago that threw lots of spanners in my brain. The irony is that they all came back but I have just buried them for now but will be forced to face them soon. I saw my ex last weekend and bolted so fast out of there like I was on autopilot which was weird. I am supposed to face him this week and start sorting out stuff. We still have a property in joint names I need to sort out but have put my head in the sand over. I'll not get a lot from it as the bank will take most of it but it's worth sorting. The money will all go straight to my brother as I owe him heaps.

Thanks for your support on my struggle thread re psychiatrist. That is still doing my head in. Luckily being actively involved on the topic Tuesday has diffused that a bit. I'm seriously over feeling like a piece of :pile_of_poo: from my mental health team. Something else happened that was much worse with them last week too. They make me want to SH so much and do much more destroying than rebuilding but the programs like mindfulness and fitness and access to hospital when I really need it is all through them. There is a huge push for me to do DBT again but it will mean lots of changes and maybe end up being treated even worse. I have so many black marks against my name there, the person no one wants to deal with which hurts heaps. Sorry never ask how I am, I'll turn it into a novel.

Im going out Thursday for tea which I hope is nice. I don't get to go out much so twice in a week is pretty special. Apart from that it's my new phams worker tomorrow and mental health team phone call on Friday which I'm scared about, it's re DBT.

I really hope work keeps going well for you. I think you'll really appreciate weekends. And yes with the snake season and feeling like you are grounded, I'm feeling that way with the park across the road. I hope you'll find new ways to release stress and tension for a bit.

And today's word of overuse is 'really'. Stay tuned for tomorrow's great vocabulary disaster 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:

@Kurra

how are things with you? When are you back at work?

I've been thinking about you 💜🤗

@Appleblossom

i hope you're doing ok and your absence from the forum is a sign that things are going ok. I'm not sure when you are due back but have been thinking about you. 💜🤗

Good evening folks, just checking in. I am feeling remarkably good today despite accidentally missing a dose of my antidepressant (it's too late to take now and I only realised about an hour ago, it's a morning dose). The celebrant officiating my gf and my commitment ceremony (later in the year) emailed us back the draft speeches and vows and I must admit I got all misty-eyed reading it. It includes the story about how we met and all that jazz.

@utopia My therapist, GP and care coordinator all want me to do DBT. I've kind of done it before but you are right it is very confronting and at the end of last year I was ready for it. Since Christmas I've gone under a bit and would struggle to do it. I've been looking for any excuse to SH it seems at the moment. However I won't get in until April but unless my name is on the list I won't get in then either. My black mark is because I've SH after lots of my appointments especially with psychiatrists there but also two psychologists. Most have been hospital admissions so my name is mud which I understand but it doesn't help anything. After my last appointment with this psychiatrist I SH and tonight I'm holding it at bay. They trigger me in a way others don't but it has a lot to do with treating me like a diagnosis and forgetting there's a human in here. My therapist begs me not to lose my life to them because they are not worth it. That's my very self inflicted situation.

I hope you get up that mountain soon. I think you were possibly born at the wrong time and possibly to the wrong clan/tribe 😊 I can see you being one of the indigenous tribes there before settlement. I could see me too except for child birth. Definitely prefer some medical help with childbirth.

That's great to hear you going well @Queenie. I love that you're happy with the vows too. It will be a really happy time. I hope the missing the antidepressant doesn't hit you tomorrow but you should be ok. I'm so lucky I didn't get any side affects but am about to change so I bet that statements bites me on the bum at some stage.