what keeps you going ??

Hello my wonderful friend xx @Decadian

I love seeing you messages

It is hot up here, had a few showers during the day , but have the aircon on xx

when we are workingand have to get up at 6-30 in the mornings and we come home for lunch at 12 , he has to have a 2 or 3 hour sleep in the afternoon

but in the holidays he is sleeping in until 10 am everyday

Dear @Decadian and @Former-Member

Remember @Decadianthe youngies at University who were

1. still at home and they were sooooo traumitised by having to grow up and do constant homework?

2. Just moved out of home and they were soooooo excied about life

3. the ones who didnt keep up and it was because of everything that was going wrong?

hahaha.....

I used the word pedantic a lot when I found it. I think that I ws calling my Dad pedantic all the time every day when I found that word......

Hi @PeppiPatty

I feel it's really important for people to get out into the work force and even home before starting university - as a mature age student myself I mixed mostly with older students and we had our private opinions

My gd did a year's full time work between year 12 and Ist year - it's a pity she got very sick during 2nd year and has had to stop for now - her CFS is as hard to live with as CPS I guess - but personally - I prefer the devil l know - but anyway

I did a lot of private tutoring after spending my days as an accountant - and students struggling because the didn't understand the subject were different from 1st year students who had matriculated the year before when they had been spoon fed and pushed and nagged at about their work - and found themselves without anyone caring what they did or not and finding themselves behind - not something a tutor can help them with -

Motivation - that's the word - it was mostly kids doing Year 12 and 2nd year students I had for some reason - and their grammar and spelling - oh enough!! It's in the past but maybe still true

Some kids get through on their parents - I was living at home when I did my accounting diploma at night school but I paid for it myself and was highly motivated - and I was even more motivated when I studied part time paying my way through university

One of my friends stays with her husband because she wants to give her kids everything they want - and they want to put them through whatever education they want - and yet - educating myself has been something I am very pleased with - justifiable proud of I think - I was pulled out of school before I was ready but that did not define me -

Enough skiting - what was this about Pp

Ah yes - the word pedantic - I liked dogmatic - and when I told my mother my father was dogmatic she said he was not - but of course he was - Mum didn't know the word

Sometime kids know more than their olds - sometimes kids are totally off the planet with their big heads

Enough - I could rant forever - just so glad I am of an academic bent of mind

Dec - giggling a bit

hello @PeppiPatty

thank you for taking the time to get me to look at what happened from a different perspective.

a week later now and seems like years ago.

i have 2 sons, older son diagnosed paranoid schizophrenia late october, now escaped state, we did find out where but has moved again. he has been in contact with his dad (we are divorced but have civil arrangement re sons we keep each other informed) he keeps contacting dad when needs money, dad pays up. so dad in good books. i gave some money a few times then last request said could not afford, string of verbal abuse and abusive text messages(paranoid stuff - definitely illness). he has changed his phone no. and does not respond to my emails. he has cut all contact with me. he is in denial of illness and therefore not on any medication. i am just praying that he is not taking any drugs. psychiatrist who gave second opinion whilst he was in hospital told me that he is very sick now, if he takes any further cannabis he will incur permanent brain damage.

younger son went through mental health issues when younger and has worked his way through to better health, keeps very fit and eats healthy foods. he has a very positive attitude also which helps him. we have become very close over the years and he has talked to me about everything under the sun. i have been there for him during very difficult times and helped him out. he greatly appreciates all that I have done and constantly tells me so. he has grown into a beautiful young man who when he finds the right woman, will make a wonderful partner. he is extremely handsome (of course I am bias) and has had many girlfriends but none have been the one to settle with. i do wonder if perhaps our divorce, even though was never nasty ( ex husbands family would have fed him with very negative comments) has had some effect. also he grew up witnessing aggression and violence between his older brother and dad. last time it happened i told him to not go back in the house just get in the car and drive to family nearby. i live over an hour away. he did. i talked to him about which family member best to stay with and he now lives at his grandma's. she is very happy as she lived on her own and has had a stroke. she feels safe loves fussing over him and they have quality time together. they talk to one another which is rare in his dad's family i can tell you.

so when younger son said i was pedantic i was very surprised. sounds like something his dad or family would have called me. i can understand him reacting to my behaviour though because i was so wound up and head was in chaotic state on christmas day.

sister is my twin, always bossed me around, only ever listens to me when situation is dire. yes we love one another deeply, very strong bond but we clash. she is very black and white, does not look at other side of things, where other person might be coming from. we are mirror twins.

mum 90, in more pain now osteo arthritis, has always been very stoic, does not show emotions. having mood swings now and i believe has not grieved properly. her sister died earlier this year 91 still living in england where my mum and dad from. i think her wall of defence is starting to crumble.

so normal family struggles except for older son situation.

i hope that explains it better than the original garble.

I hope that you have found some relief and comfort in your situation. i also hope that your son is feeling better in himself and supported.

Dear @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Decadian @BossandSqueezy @Anne13

@Former-Member this is for you but I added everyone else because this is a forum but this morning; two things were going through my mind:

if you press HERE this is one song going through my mind:

@Appleblossom can you listen to this too:

PAtty Smith's griitty voice singing "IT's a HArd Rain Gonna Fall," for Bob Dylan's Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

Her mistakes, her vulnerability.

It feels that you need to take care of yourself. I almost fall apart when my oldest son would'nt let me know where he was living for one year or answer my calls.

I felt so so isolated : friends would avoid me, my brothers were even running away from me. So, as I was listening to this song and thinking about those ...'Friends,' bit of pain there still........

(what can I do to fix it ?)

Friends used to avoid me.

Does it feel like Your husband uses money to be aggressive to you, to still get one up over you ?

Thanks for writing, I needed to hear from you,

I need to get my mind together and ask another question in the next couple of hours. This place could be my b........ journal.

My beloved @Appleblossom

Please send me some nice music for me to listen to.

I thought that @TAB might like this hat?? Beard Included. It looks fairly 'Ned Kelly,' rebellious and Australian beardy type hey ??

It's not a REAL look though all. @Former-Member what do you think of this pretend look ? I think that some one went knitting and knitted a beard with that thick brown wool...........

Love PP

Hello @TAB, @PeppiPatty, @Former-Member, @Decadian, @BossandSqueezyxx

Hi @Shaz51...You amazing making sure everyone is remembered.....

Lets meet at the cafe tomorrow and read mags?

@TAB did you see that Hat I found you? It's not real.....the beard is knitted and the hat is all knitted.......maybe someone was trying to foloow the Vikings up ?

No? Yea?