what keeps you going ??

Merry christmas @Decadian, @Appleblossom, @PeppiPatty, @Kal, @Former-Member xx

WE ARE FINALLY HOME xoxo

We MADE IT MY FRIENDS

I thing left now --- BOxing day Lunch xx

Great you got the necessaries done.

Its hard with spinal problems @Decadian .. I actually straightened the curve in my neck that was supposed to be there.

I keep quietly active .. doing gentle little stretches and exercises that I have found worked the best for me over the years .. try to vary positions and activities

.They are all quite small and precise movements .. no pushing .. nothing hard .. not athletic .. hah

My TV is at son's end so i AM ONLINE.

i DONT WANT TO DO MUSIC AS i NEED TO BE QUIET AND COMPOSED .. LOL

Hi @Appleblossom

I had no idea my posture was that bad but I in pain a lot of the time and I used to have crutches - I still do actually but I rarely need them now - but they were good for making me stand upright

omstars I look like a old person and I am still a young and hearty person in their 70s - ah - bad news -

But I have seen that now and make myself stand straighter - I think I do this when I am out taking one of my long walks - pull the shoulders back - chest out - tummy in - long legs work fine - I can do 2 -3 km in a one go often

I like my own noise - I do not like it when other people share theirs - with the fan in the A/C and the computer yesterday I failed to notice the music coming from next door - but actually that went on ALL DAY - sheesh - they woke me up with early presents with adults going "wooooooooooow!!!! Wheeeeeee" around 7.00am and when I decided to go to bed around 10.00pm - they were all outside in their back yard yakking -

Time for some loud classical music in my bedroom - I can hardly believe that people had their noise all day - why did they do that? - they are pretty quiet most of the time

Anyway - I like it pretty quiet - really - I could be a hermit happily - in fact - I pretty well am -

All the best Apple - I hope you have a day to be quiet and composed today

Dec

hello @PeppiPatty

I used prn yesterday. the breakfast stop went well, i had some laughs, tried sitting elsewhere but ended up next to her again. she does make me laugh and seems sincere. then i have been tricked by people in the past. i am optomistic and look for good in people. i find myself after wondering who i can trust now and think i must go with my intuition. so i can sit next to her. laugh with her. be happy for everyone. leave . done.

next my mum., sister, son & of course husband. i spend time trying to start conversations, laugh, relax, sister wont sit still , want to help in kitchen but she stands over, end up treading on eggshells around one another and thinking just get out of kitchen. take prn. younger son tells me i am pedantic (oh great so it is me again , never anyone else) the one person i thought who got me. it must be me i feel as though i am wound up like an elastic band. i am feeling, guilt, grief, sorrow, loss, anger, resentment, fury and i am laughing, must stay happy. have traditinal dinner, christmas pudding, present giving, non stop serving food and drink. where is the sit downall together, relax. photo time. then son leaving. how much time did i get sharing him with others, sharing me with him. i feel upset, mad, fed up. sister takes me aside in kitchen and tells me that she cannot begin to understand how i must be feeling about older son. i break down andsay " i am only here because of all of you". she looked frightened and hugged me. i didnt know those words were going to come out. husband went to move car. mum and sister asked me alll that had happened and i explained the whole sad, sorry saga. the pathetic response from mental health team, hospital. they asked which gp is giving him his medication now? He was never given a gp, a counsellor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, help with temporary accommodation, help with finding flat to rent permanently, help finding work. he was given Nothing! medication??? he is not on any. they were speechless. wont he get worse??? yes?? but how can that be??? mental health system.

evening husbands other son wife and kids etc. relaxing. i spend all my time asking how everyone is. they all have their own physical issues and talk about them as though it is the end of the world!!

home just before midnight, left 9am in the morning. hyped as could be. today i havent a clue what planet i am on. i just dont want to do this anymore.

i am sorry peppipatty i am being very selfish, i so feel for you. i cant do anything other than cry with you. that is all i am capable of at moment. xxxx

Dear Dear @PeppiPatty

You have been a wonderful quirky compassionate light on the forums ..

I will always remember you @Jacques and @Former-Member and @Mazarita

But it can become all consuming .. and so time out .. is needed .. I will be away for a few weeks in january .. I doubt I will be able to post much .. not sure if I will take laptop ..

I am so sorry your son has been so distressed. I know he has had to carry a big load .. physically and emotionally .. you make your call ... based on your needs and your family's needs.

if you need to take a sabbatical to recoup from family ill health .. we understand .. but its kind of nice to know that you wont be gone forever .. that you will come back.

lOVE aPPLE

Hi @Former-Member

What an awful situation with .. well just everything you described. From feeling as though your son blamed you for everything. To him not getting the care or support that he needs from the 'system' 😞 I have no answers but just wanted you to know i'm hearing you.

I hope that you all get some more support soon, sounds as though you may need an advocate from somewhere, might be a good place to start with a gp?

Hi @PeppiPatty

big hugs, sorry you're going through so much at the moment. Be kind to you and do what you need to keep yourself well and safe. I hope that things settle down soon for you and family. hugs

lj

Dear @Former-Member

As you can see...@Appleblossom @Former-Member @Decadian @Shaz51 know me well,

What keeps me going is that I can speak to my sons and feel that there is movement. YOu don't have this and we need to get you in a more fonfident place.

First: I will just write your email again.

Breakfast went well.

1. sitting next to pm again ( ?) Seems sincere. Makes you laugh.

@Former-Member feels she has been tricked in the past. Wondering can she trust her? Can you trust her or are you seeing only the good in others?

2. Next to Mum, husband Sister. @Former-Member talking, keeping things in a flow.

@Former-Member sister can't sit still. Stands over @Former-Member in kitchen. Younger son calls her pandantic. ( IS this true?)

3. @Former-Member feels guilt, grief, sorrow, loss, anger, resentment, fury and i am laughing, must stay happy. have traditinal dinner, christmas pudding, present giving, non stop serving food and drink. Upset, mad. YOunger son leaves. Is her the younger son?

Where was son and children. You were seeing them later.

But first @Former-Member sister gets told: that she is the reason @Former-Member is there. Was she scared? She seems like that she really really cares. My observation.

Dear @Former-Member This is time for you to be selfish and gather all ALL your support that you can find. See your Gp. Get as much info and you can get. Canm you make an appiontment from Arafmi? In WEstern Australia, I would send everyone to Cerenian House in HighGate but can you find a similar place where you are: somewhere that accpets Drugs and alcohol and spending times in mental ill health for self medication.

Walking, I usually walk 10km every morning. This gives me time to think, process and put everything into perspective. And it is the only 'me' time I have before returning to chaos and uncertainty.

I am soooo with you on this one! I wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for my two little furbabies Boss and Squeezy.

Same. I became suicidal after an assault and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my two little dogs Boss and Squeezy. Their unconditional love always gives me comfort. Take care.