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Shaz51Senior Contributor
Hello @2017 @aFineLine @BayLee @Davidpolidan @Dinah @just_me @Kallista @Kaylah @KJW @lily5 @MaryMum @MumSurviving @Mysouljunkie @Nat1254 @Sharon3 @ShirleyJune @sinac_murgin @sodnist @Tryingmum @Wi @Zefi
what keeps you going xx
In response to: what keeps you going ??
Shaz51Senior Contributor
my sister friend @Appleblossom xx
and my special friend @PeppiPatty
In response to: what keeps you going ??
Unknown userMember
dear @PeppiPatty
we are so hard on ourselves arent we. why? because we are mums? maternal instinct? emotions?
eternal love.
they are signs i have seen them myself and when i talked to him he seemed ok. he was clever at diverting. he is in denial. he has moved away. i feel i have let him down somewhere along the line. i was his gentle piece of his life. the one who always went to school , so many calls when at work. used to jump every time the phone rang at work.
you are drained. you noticed but you hoped. you love him and went to him. he will remember that in his heart.
these horrible illnesses. i am so mad, upset, fuming, sickened, furious, disappointed, have so many questions.
i have a family , a husband, another son who calmly reminds me that he is an adult, he made some choices, i have a 90 year old mum who is not that well,a sister who cares for her who is anxious when mum is not well, my husband does not like me coming on here. he thinks it makes me worse. i tell him that i wont be on here for long.
i have to come on here now to check how all of my new friends are. i read your post and I want to say to you it is alright for you to have all of your different emotions. it is also alright for you to enjoy the rest of the break with the rest of your family or whomever you have made plans.
thinking of you
stay safe - big hug xxx
In response to: what keeps you going ??
KalSenior Contributor
That's the hard part isn't it PeppiPatty - just wanting to be a mum instead of a full-time counsellor!
I hope things are ok over the Christmas/New Year period for your son 🙂
In response to: what keeps you going ??
KalSenior Contributor
Hi Shaz51
I take photos of most of my quilts, it's great to be able to look back years later & go "Oh, I remember that one!"
Yes, I agree about dogs, they're great. I think the really hard part was having to take each one to the vet for their final visit - I really wished my husband was still alive so he could be there too 😞 Still, when I'm not feeling sorry for myself I can just remember the good times & will definitely get another one next year. I figure the right one will appear when ready.
In response to: Re: what keeps you going ??
Shaz51Senior Contributor
How are you today @Kal, @Former-Member
I have never brought a pet , they have all been dumped and found our house, inherited grandmas cat and dog , saw my dog being born xx
In response to: Re: what keeps you going ??
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Dear @Former-Member
Hah.... lol....my Husband also says.....get off the computer !! Yeah......whatever. Go crying in your pillow Mr. I will do what I Can do to get through. I remember when I first met @Appleblossom....I will never forget that......
Her story was so overwhelming you needed to take it in a little bit at a time and sit with it...we argued and edged around the table....hoping that someone will bring in something good but we were both doing it .........I thought I was compassionate before but I felt balanced compassionate......
It was .....at the end....calming. It all worked out, we never stopped having a special relationsip but it just.....melted down to calmness.......There was no issues.....
@Appleblossom would you write what I wrote?
I can barely move. We were supposed to buy some things for tomorrow but I can't drive, I am so tired and you are right @Former-Member I am drained.
What keep me going?? All you and my dog..... @Appleblossom You @Former-Member , my friend @Loopy my dog Arlo, still afternoons. Quiet evenings. Knowing that my son is wanting to go back to councelling and my oldest son speakng very directly on the phone to me.
You @Former-Member?
In response to: what keeps you going ??
DecadianSenior Contributor
Hi @PeppiPatty
How tough for you - I have been in a similar place - similar - not the same - years and years ago and yes - it is better to give him that number rather than to ask questions
I knew sometimes that my son had made a SA - at first I asked some questions but this just caused resentment - it's not our place as mothers to query them - the kids feel they are being interrogated - and I hated being asked what's for dinner
But it is such a hard place to be in - and I have to draw back the years - this is today - not 30 years ago - oh sheesh - does this story go on and on just changing the characters.
Yes - it does
So in whatever way I can - yes - I hear you - I know - and yet I can't think of a helpful thing to say right now
But your Mum interfering - wow - time to back off Mum - it ain't your kid
My best thoughtss - I am so sorry - and was it you who wrote that your son knows it's not your fault nor his father's fault. That's something - you can be their for support as best you can.
I am so sorry
Lots of hugs - Dec
In response to: what keeps you going ??
DecadianSenior Contributor
Hi @Shaz51
Did your husband say he was going to take himself to hospital right before Christmas this year - with everything heating up - and wow?
Then seeing as you thought it was okay drank and dr - and went to bed?
I don't know - it's not my place to say - but d'uh it sounds like games and you said the best thing
That's hard yards - aw - I am thinking of you Shaz
Dec
In response to: Re: what keeps you going ??
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Dear @PeppiPatty
I thats a beautiful way to describe us first meeting ..
edging around the table .. and gradually over time .. with goodwill .. the differences all melting away ..
Course I wouldnt write the same thing as you .. that would be terrible .. we are unique not clones .. I know people also joke and hi 5 when they come up with the same thoughts etc .. its all fine.
I am glad one boy is being direct .. but hope not too direct ..
and the other seeking help .. better than giving up
dear @Decadian Do you have anything yum planned?
@Shaz51 sorry you are getting the run around with hub .. thanks for always being around .. and keeping perky is WORK.
@Kal Hi I love other people's dogs .. maybe get one one day.. but need to know I can deliver what they need ..
@Former-Member
You are a lovely wise lady who has had a recent crisis with your boy.
We have benefitted from your long posts .. lol
You will find the right balance of forum use for you .. the hubster might not know everything
I wonder if "there own choices thing" .. is just a brush off and refusal to dig deep enough to look for empathy.
I never did that with my siblings .. though it was hard .. and the boy made more "bad" choices than the girl // but she suffered more at first .. and it wasnt justice that he suffered later .. we dont live in closed socio-emotional systems .. there are many causes .. but you know that.
Next step ..
In response to: Re: what keeps you going ??
DecadianSenior Contributor
Hi @Appleblossom
I have had all the planned Christmas events and now just a quiet afternoon coming here and posting from time to time and watching TV and it's time for something to eat
This year I did Christmas so peacefully - most of my shopping happened in the local pharmacy - so peaceful
My posture in the family photo taken on Friday evening is terrible - I know it's hard to straighten my spine though I try - I guess I don't think of it much at home alone
No wonder - it either hurts cause this is how I stand or this is how I stand because it hurts
Anyway - Christmas was fine for me -
I hope it is okay for other people - though I know it cannot be for everyone
Dec
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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