not feeling good

Lovely post @Dec ... as always!

My sister @BlueBay

Hi @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Owlunar @Former-Member @Gazza75 thanks so much for your support and love.

I’m feeling tired and depressed because too much on my mind.

I had an appointment with my dietitian this afternoon. So so glad I’ve met this guy. He is very supportive. He listens and understands. We spoke a lot about me using the scales daily. We spoke about my excessive emotional eating away from my hubby and kids. They don’t know I do it. He explained its a form of self harm and addiction just like alcohol. I’m getting the same benefits as an alcoholic or someone high on meds.

He said my thinking is very black and white. We spoke about what I’m eating and he said I need to increase it at times.

But I mentioned that the other day I wasn’t going to eat so I could lose it quicker. He said it wasn’t a good idea.

He has made another appointment for next Friday on the agreement that I don’t weigh myself daily. I have agreed.

He is going to refer me to an exercise physiologist to give me a plan to work on and motivate me. And the best bit is tiday only cost $10.

I really do need to lose weight but I’m also scared of failing.

Hi @Owlunar Thankyou from my heart fir your honesty to my question.

I understand what you say in your replies. I just don’t see it in me. Or maybe I don’t believe in myself. I need to give myself some credit. Am I scared of giving myself some happiness some credit. Why? Maybe for fear of being attacked by my mum with negative comments. Got me thinking??

I know that my self esteem is zero.

I lack confidence so badly. I don’t love myself.

I’m hoping that seeing my dietitian dnd the exercise physiologist will motivate me to feel better about myself.

Im just so hard on myself. I wouldn’t be this hard to a friend. So why me??

Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy ??

i don’t kniw.

@Appleblossom @Gazza75 @Former-Member @Shaz51 the cigarette smell just came out of nowhere. No one smokes at home. I hope I dkeep well tomorrow. I’m working tomorrow last sat.

Next week back to normal shifts. 😊

@Former-Member You could be right. Maybe I’m so protective of little A becayse of what happened to me. Maybe there is a connection.

I hope you are doing ok. Thinking of you ❤️

Oooohh @BlueBay I would totally drive myself mad if weighed daily. It does sound like he has good ideas for you.

I took weight loss seriously but long term, cos I knew I would self sabotage. I also struggle with the idea that I dont deserve to be an ideal weight. The things our minds do to us ... turning us into knots. I have not lost that much but keep active enough so that I look tall more than round and that is enough for me. I keep clothes of different sizes in case it goes up and down and I dont have to shop again.

Being kind to ourselves is the way to go ...

Take Care Bella.

It’s really going to be very hard and distressing because I need to see the numbers on the scale. I need to monitor the numbers.

At the moment I’m going to do more walking. Like my dietitian said ”increase walking” and slowly we’ll get there. He wants me to enjoy the walking.

Lets see how I go this week.

Thanks @Appleblossom love your replies ❤️❤️

@BlueBay I went to weight watchers with a gf when I was about 13. I was not big then and did it to keep her company. I learned about food and weight ... it is useful ... but I wish you could find a way not to measure your worth by numbers. I did a lot of maths and jobs using calculators etc ... so I got really sick of numbers after a while.

You are worthwhile just the way you are BB. Your size. Your shape. Having a nanna comfort for littlies to bump up against .. is good.

Hi @Appleblossom

@thanks for your kind words. I still struggle and find it hard to accept. But Thankyou. I appreciate it.

I made a big mistake last night -

i emailed my psych about my excessive emotional eating and if any of my meds cause weight gain. He replied to direct emails to receptionist. No way I’m not disclosing my personal stuff to reception. It’s personal. I feel embarrassed ashamed and horrible enough about starting to talk about it. I’m not going to email his receptionist. So then I got sngry and I’m still sngry to the point if telling him to get stuffed.

He could have been a bit more caring. And then he says “will discuss at next appt “. What in October ?? What’s the point.

Abd how do u discuss that in a 10 mun consultation and then charges $170!!!

im really very tired. Woke up three times last night. I have to wirk tiday. I really don’t want to.

I’m going to bed when I come home.

Hi @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Former-Member @Gazza75 @MDT

Right now I’m so f..... angry.