Hi @BlueBay
My ex was the kind of person who repeats himself - I wonder if he ever realised that sometimes what the said actually did make sense and one of those were a couple of line from a Scots poet - Robert Burns - and it goes something like -
"O - had God the gift to give us
To see ourselves as others see us"
Yes - I can tell you some of the ways I can tell you are getting better - or rather - your mental health is improving
1. One is how you stick it out at work - you took on these extra hours for the last few weeks even when you didn't feel well enough and you did it for your family - it has been very hard for you but you stuck with it and it's nearly finished
2, And you are seeing now that hospital isn't the best thing for you. You said - a couple of days back - that you don't get much good out of it - your insight into this has increased.
3. And even though I have been in favour of your going to hospital because you feel so bad you have stuck with your decision not to - you find it hard to be assertive but you have been. True - I have only given you suggestions - but you stuck with your own plans
4. Although your childhood abuse and your anger burst forth at times you are seeing that your relationship with your husband needs a lot of work and you have been trying - just because he doesn't listen doesn't mean that your work in this area is failing - YOU are seeing this better - you have better insight
5. You used to say that you were going to run away and disappear, Now you say you wish you could - your thinking has moved from being actually to wishing
6. You used to fret because your sons were travelling and your daughter had moved out. This bothered you terribly - you couldn't see any benefit in expty-nesting. Now you see this as your next stage of life and normal though it's still not easy.
7. You have issues with your mother but you are talking to her now and make choices about when you will and plan for what you will say about your brother if you get the chance. You are angry with her but I am angry with mine too - that's life - reading though the threads here has helped me see that mother-issues affect many people, you're getting better about her,
8. Your writing is so much better - you are keeping this magical journal that those of us who follow your story read and interact with.
9. You see other people's boundaries better. This is really huge for you because of your BPD -
10. Last one - I had better leave something else for people to comment on - you now write on several social threads - you have started some of your own on Cooking and Snacks and sewing - eg. And you frequently ask other people how we are. Once you couldn't do that
Yes - you still have a long way to go - I know you fear losing your support team if you recover but the truth is that when life is improved to that degree you won't need it - of course - you can stay on the forum while it's here - you don't have to feel as bad as you have in the past and still do more than most peopole
Most of my issues are in the past - but I find it very helpful being here - recovery doesn't mean giving up the friendships you have made along the way
All the best girlfriend - you are doing well
Dec
