not feeling good

thinking of you my sister @BlueBay

stress does cause a lot , took mum to the doctor yesterday first BP was 140 , and then the doctor talked for a while and then mum`s BP was 170

so the doctor said i won`t test it again today as it keep getting higher as we talk xxx

Sending love @BlueBay

I want to run away.

i want time to myself

This does't sound good @BlueBay

Did you email your psyche the other night?

Dec

No I can’t email my psych as he’s away for a few weeks @Owlunar

but now I don’t think I can go as our money situation is terrible

it’s ok I just get so depressed that at times I don’t think what I’m writing

but I will try tiday to give myself some quiet time (if I can get away from A)

I’m staying home inside today as it’s rsining but that could snd prob annoy me

msybe if it stops raining I could go out for a quick walk

got no money to do anything. We got paid the other day and after all bills come out and I put money in our holiday we only have $180 left fir another 10 days. It sucks.

Need to check my blood pressure this morning.

We need to sell our home but at the moment there is a huge development in our area with a cafe, restaurant and boutique shops. So it would be good if we could hang on to our house until next year and hopefully make more money. I just don’t kniw. It’s so stressful. And then where do we go. I don’t want to go too far as we love our area. I just don’t know. It’s so hard.

I don’t really want to think about it. But reality is we need to.

And im angry at my so called friend. Saying to me yesterday ”oh is there anything you’re stressed about”. She knows what I’m going through. She should be more empathetic. I’m not telling her anything anymore. So sick of her putting me down like I’m such an idiot. Just because she just sold her house, all her kids have moved out and she doesn’t need to buy another house as she’s got a farm given to them by her FIL. she doesn’t know what stress is to look for another property. So many times she has given me the shits. We used to visit and have dinner outside if wirk but that stopped long time ago. Her husband is nice but she is too over the top. She knows everything about everything. She talks to you like she is miss kniw it all.

Last three weeks was so nice without her. But this week has been horrible. It’s amazibg how one person can affect my mood.

Anyway thst was too much about me. I feel like all I do is write and write and I feel guilty.

How are you? I don’t ask you enough and it makes me so insensitive.

What are you doing today?

I always care about you ❤️❤️

Hi @BlueBay

You have so much happening right now it's impossible to think about all of it - like the weather - it's stopping you from sorting everything out

So put on the brakes - you don't have to think about selling your house right now - and really - if you have to move out of the area where you are now will you still be able to have your job? It's all too much - and yes - I know - it takes more than a few deep breaths but that's a start - and I do know about having debts and no free cash - been there often - it's horrible - it sucks

About your frenemy - she is a typical ding-bat and not worth your time - I have had people in my life like here - and they stick around like stinky stuff on your shoe - I know - actually I think they are very insecure and you are so quiet you come across as being confident and she wants to bring you down to her level - we do not need people like that around and they are in the way - I understand that - personally I think that they are like the 11 year old catty girl who moved into the area where I lived when I was around that age myself and she stirred up trouble everywhere and it was impossible to get away from her - and I think she was very unhappy too -

It's all hard to deal with - I hear you - and you are overwhelmed -

You need time out from A too - and there is nothing wrong with staying in your room and reading if you feel guilty about going to bed - A is wonderful and you love her - I understand that but you are really batling right now and need time to yourself - it's really important. I hope you can manage that

Thanks for asking about me - I am not feeling happy at all - this is the bad time of year for me and it's been pretty easy so far but yesterday I got a phonecall from the psychologist at the pain clinic and I am wondering about the wisdom of that - she can give me a 9.30 am appointment in 3 weeks - terrific - I am a slow starter and will be in pain when I attend and her next appointment when she could see me is not until December - really narked about that phone call because it seems I fell through the cracks and wish she had let it all lie. I will probably cancel - I don't need to peel onion skin about the time when my son died any further but it really stirred me up yesterday - stirred up the muddy water in my wonderful little lily-pond - I know all those shadows are still there - who could forget? I don't want to forget. It all happened and I have accepted it but it's still awful

I will be okay - I will always be okay - I have cooking to do today and I like cooking - I only cook enough for myself and that's fine

BlueBay - no one's life is easy - some people like your frenemy pump themselves up at the expense of others and it is pretty nasty actually - some people just keep things to themselves - it's really wonderful here where people can share

You're not alone and yes - the weather down where you are on the Peninsula has had a lot of rain this morning and we are in for it up here too - bad weather can make it hard to be cheerful too

I know you care about me -

Dec

Hi @Owlunar I’m sorry you’re struggling at the moment. I know it’s hard for you. Hugs and love your way ❤️

@Ali11 @Shaz51 @Gazza75

Ive just had an argument with hubby about money left in our account.

Right now my emotions are heightened and I just want to disappear.

Ive got a headache thinking about too much stuff.

How much more can I tske. I feel I’ve been kicked around so much that I don’t know if I can keep going.

I'll be okay @BlueBay - I've been here before often and it does work out

But I do have to ask what Huffnpuff wants to argue about when it comes to money right now - what is there to argue about?

I can hear you - you are at the end of your tether and you are holding on somehow

I really do hear you

Dec

We're sorry to hear that @BlueBay, are you able to go for a walk or just sit down somewhere to be able to relax and rest your head?

Hi @Ali11 I’ve been able to rest and relax this afternoon.

@Razzle I’ve been thinking about you today. Love and hugs ❤️