not feeling good

Hope you get a bit of a breather this weekend @BlueBay It's good that you've got Dr and psych lined up for next week. Also wishing you good sleep. I need that too. I'm going to put on sleep stories on my app.

@frog I’m feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated thst I don’t go on peoples posts snd teply. I’m feel I should be supporting so many in here but I haven’t because I’m not coping myself.

I feel terrible that I don’t reply. And then I’ll feel bad to butt in a post fir fear of interrupting a conversation. It’s me I know it is. I just hate the Way I think.

I feel so many support me snd im not giving back.

Oh @BlueBay you are so hard on yourself. You can give back more when you are feeling less overwhelmed. There's no hurry. For me part of the benefit of visiting the forum is knowing people are around regardless of how bad, or good, they are feeling. And sharing the bad as well as the good is valuable to me because I feel like other people understand the struggles. I like seeing you around regardless.

@BlueBay I am not coping either so two of us together. I am in a rut and I am falling in it.i am going to force myself out of by exercising the hard core tomorrow and long weekend. The soft pamper just don't work. I have to force myself no matter what to reach a place where I can be in more control of my life.my mother is really aging and leaving me. My brother hates me and just avoid me. I don't have anyone else or other resources.my only resourCesnis myself. I will force myself to perform. Please support me to reach that level.

Hi @Meowmy hope you’re ok today. I’m sorry you have fsmily issues. Thsts always hard to deal with.

tag me if you need to chat ❤️

I’m crying

I am very negative with myself, my life, my surroundings

I sm negative

everything that comes out of my mouth is always negative

never one pisifive

people have told me

my daughter has told

hubby agrees with her

why? why can’t I be normal positive person full of life.

Ive been stripped of my happiness

it’s been taken from me

wish I could be alone

just me

how hard is it to organise

it will never happen

no friend of mine wants me either

actually no friend calls me

Sister never calls either

god I’m in such a dark place right now thinking why do I bother

See here I go sgsin - negative me

and you’re all prob saying - well just chsnge to positive.

If only it was that easy 😢😢😢

I'm here @BlueBay and I hear you. I would like nothing better than to reach out to give you a hand up and out of that pit of despair you currently find yourself. I wish it were that easy. But anyone who has been there knows that its not as simple as that. Anyone who has been where you are, knows its not a matter of suddenly deciding to change our negative thinking to a more positive track. We can try! And we all do. But there is so much more involved than that. Its the support we receive, its the medications we take, its the therapy we learn from, its the understanding of those around us in our real world, its the support and knowing company of online support such as these forums. Its the combination of all of that, and much more. All we can really do is to keep trying out best, and keep reaching out to others who can also help.

I read a quote recently which says:

Watch your thoughts ... they become words.
Watch your words ... they become actions.
Watch your actions ... they become habits.
Watch your habits ... they become your character.
Watch your character ... it becomes your destiny.

Happy positive thinking!

Nice if you can do it. Meanwhile ... keep smiling; try some meditation or yoga; sing; surround yourself with positive people; enjoy time with your granddaughter; although you are (in reality) a victim ... try to see it more as that you are now able to take responsibility for your own life and to create a new life for yourself despite all that happened in your past; don't BE a victim but be a survivor; help others just as you do here on the forums; remember that noone is perfect ... not you or I ... not your mum .. nobody .. but thats okay; make a list of things you are actually grateful for in your life. All these things help us to redirect our negative thoughts into a more positive trajectory. But its easy to say all this, much harder to do.

Thinking of you Bluebay.

Sherry 💕

@BlueBay You must have done positive, to have brought three children up and still married and working. Your circumstances is positive compare to a lot of people. You have it hard with MI and past abuse. But God is with you, to give you lovely home, daughter and little A and sons. I have done much worse. I must have stuffed up relation with brother real bad. Now we don’t speak and he hates me to be around. I only have a very old mother who is aging fast. When she passes, I will have nowhere to live, cos house will go to my brother. I have no one else in my life, no real friend. But I need to get myself a bit stronger to cope with work. I could never handle a relationship. Now single, fifty, alone. So you have done much better. Don’t worry, slowly your MI will get better. You have a lot to give to people.

Hi @Shaz51 @frog @Former-Member @Meowmy @Shaz51 @Owlunar @oceangirl @Ali11

This afternoon hubby and I took A for a walk to the park snd beach. Thought it would also help me get out of the house snd get some fresh air.

My d had a makeup job to do.

On the way hubby starts talking and says ”oh those two units “ and I said I don’t kniw what you’re talking about. Which streeet are these units. He says “I pointed to the street”

so as I’m pushing the pram I’m meant to see thst he had his finger pointing.

I said “well next time tell me the street”

he turns around and says “forget it I’m not wasting my breath on talking, every time I talk at work I have no problem with anyone, but no one understands me st home”!!!!!

i was so angry that I then pushed the pram faster and ignored him. A few minutes he tries to tell me the story sgsin and I turned around and said “don’t bother don’t waste your breath on telling me I don’t want to kniw”

Gosh I was and still am a bit angry.

He always says to me snd the kids that “everyone understands me at work”

the boys snd daughter can see what he’s like.

How the hell was I meant to know which units he walking about. If he had of said the street name then I would understand and continue the conversation. But no I’m meant to be a mind reader.

Thsnkyou @Former-Member I was ok at the park eith A. She had fun playing sbd then we collected shells. It was a beautiful day. I do need to think of sll the positive in my life.

@Meowmy I feel for you. It must be difficult to not have much family or friends. But here you have many friends

@BlueBay Great you had a nice time at the park with A. It probably was my own fault that I put myself in a rut and difficult position. When I was young, I took things lightly and made rush decisions on important issues. End up with not much family, friends, insecure with housing and future. It is hard to turn around my life now. I just hope you work things out with hubby and don’t be like me, end up alone and insecure. Take care.