not feeling good

@Owlunar

mum is good again , frail but is good , she was soo happy to be home , just have to see how long her bowel problem will come back -- the doctor is thinking of keyhole surgery to remove the scan tissues and adhensions which are building up in mum`s bowel

with mr shz , the physio he is getting does not seem to work , so it is the waiting game here for mr shaz which is hard for him

Stage 4 kidney disease can't be easy to work with and with all this stress, true my second mum @Owlunar and with diabetes too , having very regular checkups with the gp`s and specialist , my next appt coming up soon xoxo

Your welcome @BlueBay

I am sorry this happen to you. I can understand the heartache you're dealing with, it is not a easy path - I'm trying to ease it a little. Just remember your MIL is still the same woman inside she has not changed. Your love for her will give her comfort, that is what I would be thinking of when you go to see her. You're amazing and caring person- your MIL, husband and children are lucky to have you in their lives.

I do worry about my Dad and I just hope that he will be okay. It upsets me and I can understand why you get upset when you see your MIL. Life can be cruel that is for sure. Learning to turn that lemon into lemonade. We all have bad days. You're not alone my sis. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

Hi @BlueBay

I had to think for a while before I answered this post - the one you replied to about my son - he was a difficult child - it was like untangling a mess of paper clips, sticky tape and rubber bands - he never did fit into the world - I have learned so much about what life must have been like for him but reading your posts -

He must have felt terribly confused and - yes - unworthy - I don't think he could imagine how much I wanted him and loved him when his birth-mother had given him up for adoption - it's a long story and I do understand that he was one of those people who needed to test everyone's commitment to him and he was let down by so many - they didn't understand - in many ways I didn't either but I was committed to him and it was very hard to deal with when the rest of the family rejected both of us - that's their problem though and I know I did the right thing

Not giving up on someone is quite probably something most people don't think about telling anyone - I don't think I told him though I might have - my parents certainly never said it to me - it's in the marriage vows but I have an idea that once said it is supposed to be accepted as being the done deal and that's that -

Not giving up on someone isn't easy though - it's more than just standing with them - it means tough love and going more than the extra mile - it means being honest about the situation and our choices. Life isn't easy for anyone but harder for someone with BDP I am learning - and I had to be straight forward with him and honestly - all these years later I feel as if I was learning as I went but I did the right thing the best way I can

I have someone here atm and finding it hard to concentrate so I will continue this later

Sending hugs

Dec

Self harm again

no meds

mood really really down

triggering stuff

I don’t understand why

zero motivation

Hey @BlueBay , we're all sitting with you and hearing you in this community You are not alone. If you need to, now could be a good time to reach out to some supports, if not your Psych I would definitely recommend chatting to SCBS 1300 659 467 or LifeLine 13 11 14 around SH strategies. It's important you are safe @BlueBay

❤️ @BlueBay .....

I’m safe @Former-Member

I haven’t had my meds for a few days

I am so hopeless with sabotage

so much hard times

Thankyou @Faith-and-Hope

Hi @BlueBay . Im relieved to hear you are safe. Please dont hesitate to call the supports as suggested by @Former-Member if that situation changes.

Im concerned BB that you have not taken your meds for a few days. This would definitely contribute to how you are feeling now. Any chance of seeing your GP to discuss this?

Sitting with you my friend.

Sherry 🌺🍀

Have you restarted meds now @BlueBay ? That’s the fastest way you are going to start feeling better, as you know Hon. Just put this bout of self-sabotage behind you, and pick up the recovery path again ...... it’s full of bumps and rocks and rabbit holes, but our therapists and friends and forum friends are there to help us find our way again.

💙☕️💕

@BlueBay