not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

I went and search teddy bears - and I could not find the one I wanted this quickly - but I got this one - and I hope it comes us - It's the best hug I can give on-line

Ah - that worked - when I have more time I will try and find the one I was looking for - in the mean time - hug my teddy bear

All the best -

Dec

@Faith-and-Hope

I didn't know how to boil water that way - no

And of course it would take ages but it would work if we didn't have a frying pan or a kettle or whatever

But what makes me grate my teeth is the thought of all that ash in my dinner - or the tea they keep drinking

I love those books and I have read them all several times but I admit there are parts I flick right over - I won't say what parts

whenever i read your replies to me @Owlunar I cry because I know that you truly understand.

maybe i don't hate my mum, after all she is my mum. but i so hate her behaviour and how she treated me over the past 7 yrs. i just wanted a close relationship with her, i wanted and so needed her support and love which i never got. and that hurts so much.

i fell asleep before it is cold here today. so much for summer although i don't like it when it's too hot. it is quite windy too.

i should do so many things today, but i can't move. i hate being here on y own. i thought i would like it but not today. 😞

having a really crap day, teary and all.

thank you @Owlunar for the beauitful teddy bear. I am hugging him right now. xxoo

Sending you a teddy hug too @BlueBay, feel for you xox

Hi @Former-Member@Owlunar@utopia@Zoe7

Beautiful friends of Blue Bay! I have been conversing with BB via email and she wanted me to tell you she is doing ok, attending to her self care and will be offline for the rest of today.

She has been thinking about her new grandchild who will be arriving in some months and is looking forward to being a amazing Nonna 🙂

best wishes,

Frog

Thanks for letting us know @Former-Member

@BlueBay

@BlueBay .... people express love in different ways, and for some, they never really follow the patterns that we can identify with as "being loving".

For my MIL it's all about material possessions. If you love someone, you give them things, if they love you, they give you things. So if she's not constantly being given to, she feels unloved. She gives to my husband in ways that usually belong to a husband-wife relationship, but she has never learned that boundary, and part of her psyche is that she has to always be first in his affections as his mother .... that's her particular inner programming .....

Your mum probably thinks she was expressing all the love she needed to just in providing the physical things that are placed around a child as they grow up - a house, furniture, daily meals, bathroom facilities, an education, toys, etc .... and it has never been part of her understanding that love can be so much more than that ....

I am trying to help you to see that the short-fall is hers, not at all about how loveable you are .... and we can see how loveable you are very clearly .... it was a short-fall in her ability to understand what a loving mother is. Whether that was part of how she grew up, mother issues or father issues of her own, or whether she has some sort of inner world issue that she has never addressed, it's all to do with her.

Your job now is to engage with, and keep engaged with, the love of the family you have around you .... huffy-puffy hubby who does love you .... your children ... your grand-baby as he/she grows in their cocoon .... your aunt and uncle who Yu know love you .... your friends ....acquaintances who appreciate you .... and us here on the forums.

Wish your mother some sort of improvement in the future, but then release her from your affections to a place, like a picture on the wall, that says she gave you food, clothing, and somewhere to live growing up, but that was all she was capable of, so it's time to let her go. And your dad has chosen to stay with her, so his picture can go up on the wall too, but you can blow him the occasional kiss because you care more about him.

Does that help ?

I have to go out now for a while, but I will check back in with you later on .... thinking about you the whole time and sending you hugs.

❤️💕