not feeling good

I’ve made an appt to see my dictir this morning fir my mental health and blood pressure.

Thankyou for the support last night @Shaz51 my sis and @Jupiter

I feel like a big fat blob with no hope

my self esteem is gone

I’m so down

Wanted to send you some hugs this morning @BlueBay. Feeling down and hopeless is hard 🙁 I hope your appointment is helpful this morning.

💗

Thankyou @CheerBear ❤️

Hi @BlueBay

You had a bad week - trouble at work - Huffnpuff huffing and puffing - blood pressure problems - I have no doubt there is other stuff - you feel boxed in right now

When it comes to how you see yourself BueBay - this is not how we see you - so many people here do help and support you as best we can - that's not because we see you as worthless but rather - worthwhile - and you do often ask me how I am - I have noticed this -

And most people here are getting through life walking up hill emotionally - we understand

I wish you could feel better about yourself - somethings in your life are totally not your fault and something things are just life - like those coffee mugs - the sun does not rise and set with the state of the coffee mugs

When it comes to your language skills - it has occurred to me that Engish is not your first language - you can speak Italian - so having two languages is really a plus - and you are quite articulate in English as well - and using simple words is not a failure - I can use long words and that just makes me more learned - not wiser -

Take heart - let this weekend pass and with it the bad incident at work - rest to give your blood pressure a chance and try and remember the things you do well

To remind you - you have work to attend - a family who loves you and esp little A who is the rose in your life - obviously - all of your kids have done well - one son is a policeman and the other has finished his degree - you have a home you love and hopefully you can find a way to keep it - you're a good cook and homemakes - all these things are positive

Dec

I wish I could believe in myself @Owlunar

wush I could hug you ❤️

I’m so overwhelmed.

My blood pressure at the doctor this morning was 179/90. Still high. Headache slowly going.

My dictir is worried about me having two days off wirk niw instead of the one. He worries about my mentsl health.

I need to stay busy but my head is telling me things like - run fast. Hit kick punch scream. It’s all bottled up.

I better go.

❤️

Hi @BlueBay

Sending hugs

Aw - I hope that feels better

There are lots of different reasons for blood pressure instability and lots of different medications - the idea is finding the right one and that could be a hard journey -

The first one I was taking didn't work for me - my BP was all over the place - I woke up with low BP and then it would go off on its own for adventures and I was tired and achey all the time - no appetite, giddy, I lacked motivation - I was totally miserable - and didn't feel I needed medication

Since then I have been on something else a lot more appropriate for me and apart from falling asleep in the afternoon when I would rather not I feel okay and my BP is stable - so yes - your doctor needs to monitor this and he will - he seems to me to be a good doctor and very kind to you as well - and I am glad for you

I am concerned about your mental health too - going to work is good for your mental health - and you need to keep yourself occupied because you go down hill fast without it - but then - on the other side - your physical health needs care too so I get it that you took two days off work - and I am glad you made your own choice about that

What I feel is best for you is for you to make you own choice about whether you work or not - what you put up with from Huffnpuff or not - you feel hysterically angry inside and this is possibly because so much of your life is not to your liking and no wonder with the memories you are stuck with - but each day we make choices - even when we do something someone else is telling us to do - we can comply or not

And to me it feels better to please ourselves - you know the deal financially and occupationally - you know Huffnpuff is passive-aggressive - you have a choice to try and block your ears or tell him when to get off and doing that - it's better to order him out of your kitchen before you steam up.

I know it from experience - it's all bottled up - it can't get out unless you let it and I know

Bloody hell - do I ever know!!!!!!!!

Thinking about you

Dec

trying to find a balance between work and keeping busy is sometimes hard my sister @BlueBay and then we have to remember to look after ourselves as well

Hi @Shaz51 @Owlunar

i cant tslk to anyone at the moment.

Everyone is giving me the shits. My older son is here to visit. A is tired and cracking it big time. My d is angry with me because I didn’t use a “natural ” spray to clean the high chair. Bloody hell I never used natural products for my babies. So I’m not talking to her. Everyone is angry with each other. Omg. It’s a sngry shitty household at the moment.

Im so angry I do so much for my daughter and A thst she doesn’t even care.

Im over everything tiday.

Grrr i want to scream.

Checked my BP at local chemist it’s now low. The pharmacist said it’s not good that it goes so high then so low.

They can’t even decide on dinner. I’m sitting watching tv. I have lost my appetite the past few days. I can’t be bothered to eat.

hugs my sister @BlueBay xx

must be some reason for your blood pressure to go up and down like that , it is not helping your body or feelings

My mum`s blood pressure sometimes goes to 200 /90

my sister @BlueBay

checking in to see how you are xx