not feeling good

That is a fantastic post @Faith-and-Hope

@BlueBay sending you lots of hugs

I miss my step children lots too , wish they were closer xx

Seeing new psychologist at local hospital community centre tiday. I’m stressed because she wants to talk about my childhood abuse.

I kniw I’ll be triggered. Feeling really anxious about this afternoon.

@Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Former-Member @Zoe7

@BlueBay I feel like I have abandoned you lately, it’s been a very busy and overwhelming week.

We’ve had a few days away over the weekend and lots of driving over the next few days. I’ve had my mother here for almost a week. She has dementia and requires a bit of care, there is no time to relax when she is around. I was pretty tired and emotional Wednesday night, had a couples councilling session Thursday where it all came to a head.

I feel like a lot of responsibility has been dumped on me, and it’s a bit of a struggle to cope. Even the councillor told my husband he needs to pick up the slack. He asked if I ever get time on my own to do stuff just for me. When I said no he asked why not, my husband always makes time for himself and does whatever he wants, why can’t I. It was a good question, and hubby was even a little shocked and embarrassed that he’d been called out on it.

Anyway, I have been thinking about you lately, and I’m glad that you are seeing new therapists lately. Please don’t feel judged, I don’t think a therapist would do that. We are usually our own worst enemy, I don’t think anyone would think things about me as bad as what I myself think of me. In fact, I think your therapist would admire just how strong and brave you are to even speak of some of the terrible things that have happened to you.

I hope you feel better after you appointment today. ❤️❤️

Hi @Owlunar Sorry for the late reply. Thankyou for your concern over my

leg. Yes, the DVT is a bit of a worry. I hadn’t had any pain up until a couple of days ago, so I’m keeping a very close eye on things at the moment.

I do have some stressful events coming up. I get anxiety just thinking about them, I find I’m struggling being around a lot of people at the moment, I just want to hide away in my own safe little bubble. The biggest stress is knowing I’ll run into my SIL at my nephews wedding. She is the main reason my

marriage started to break down. I haven’t spoken to her for almost 20 months, and I’d be happy enough to never speak to her again. Of course I’m worried my husband will do something stupid, maybe say something to her that will prove he’s not supportive of me - it may all just be a scenario I’m running in my head, but I just feel like the rug is going to be pulled out from under my feet.

I also have a genuine fear that one of the members of the group could also be at the wedding, I haven’t seen him since that attack. I have a session with my councillor on Wednesday and I’m going to ask him to give me some strategies on how to cope before I get there and on the day. My heart is pounding now just thinking about it. The sooner that day is over the better.

I hope you are keeping well Dec, and Thankyou for taking the time to reach out to me, it really means a lot to know there is someone out there that cares ❤️❤️

@Faith-and-Hope Oh I wish I had heard of a critical path when my kids were little. The baskets for each type of laundry item and to keep rooms tidy in general - I REALLY wish I’d known about that - it would have saved myself a whole lot of stress, tears and time if I’d done that. Instead, I ran myself

ragged trying to keep everything clean and tidy - without much success I might add, and still can’t seem to keep on top of it.

The kids may have left home, but the messiest “big” kid (the husband) is still here, maybe it’s not too late to start a few baskets for him.

My son and his partner are expecting their first child in a couple of months time, I am going to share your idea - so many young mums think they have to be super mums at the expense of their own sanity. A critical path kind of puts everything into perspective, it’s a fabulous idea, Thankyou for sharing ❤️❤️

@Razzle ❤️

Never too late re baskets and husband ..... I still do it now 😉

All the best with the new grandbaby, and yes .... spread the word ..... 👍

Home from session. Triggered too much from talking about childhood abuse

cried through whole one hour session

anger is consuming me reg my brother

sll I ever wanted was an apology from my mum

which I’ll never get

I hate this and everything that goes with it

the pain right now is unbearable

i dibt think I can tslk at the moment

@Faith-and-Hope @Razzle @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Former-Member @Zoe7

@BlueBay ❤️❤️

I understand @BlueBay and please be reassured that there is no need to talk until you feel up to it. Just know we are all here ready to listen when you are ready to talk.

I'm sorry that you feel you will never receive that apology from your Mum that you crave. I'm sorry you are consumed by anger regarding your brother. I expect you are already talking to your therapist about ways to combat or ease those feelings and to help diminish the intense pain you feel around all this.

I expect you'll be emotionally and physically drained by now after such a triggering and intense session. Take some time to breathe and try to allow the emotions to flow through you. Dont keep them all inside you ... let them out ... release them.

My thoughts are with you.

Sherry

You know @Former-Member @Razzle men are bloody useless. I came home from session and hubby didn’t say one word. He got dinner ready and I sat outside with Ayla. We started to eat dinner snd I mentioned to my dsughter thst the psychologist I saw suggested that she and her partner do counselling. Then my doctor rang to see how I went today and I told him terrible because I was triggered. Then hubby decides yo ask me. I told him it was terrible. We talked about the abuse snd my brother snd whst I would say if mum asked me. He turns around snd says “nah she won’t ask”. I turned snd ssid “how do you know I need to be prepared just in case she does ask”. He then says “oh yeah “.

So now I’m pissed off with him because he doesn’t show any empathy.

Im sitting alone. I want to be alone but still stsy on here with you all.

This new therapist said I could possibly do another few more sessions next term in another area close to home for free.

I’m hurting. I want to cry so much but can’t. I want to hibernate far far away from everyone. I want to release my anger by smashing ur breaking something.

I feel like one of these days I’m going to explode.

Tears down my face.

Oh and Sunday hubby is away ALL day with his mate for a car show.

Me - I’ll be home alone. 😢

@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Zoe7