not feeling good

@BlueBay ❤️❤️

Not doing great at the moment either, feeling a little disconnected tonight. Sooo tired but can’t sleep, I keep jolting awake. Mindlessly watching tv but I can’t keep up with the storyline, just can’t concentrate.

Have you tried new meds for your shoulder pain yet? I think you mentioned earlier that you also were given something to help you sleep? I hope they are working for you ❤️❤️

Hi @BlueBay

I haven't been okay for just over a week but I think I am through it now - I had too much happening and my blood pressure was actually too low yesterday and I take medication for high blood pressure and I think it was the heat - it's actually harder to deal with the heat on heart medication - has anyone told you that yet? So it's important to stay in air-conditioned areas as much as possible and keep hydrated -

Living alone is easier for that - I don't have anyone bustling in with their own stuff when I want peace and quiet - I get enough peace and quiet but there was a long time in my life when I didn't so I understand

You really do need time for yourself - I know it's hard - but we need it and there needs to be some rules with two extra people in the house - I hear you though - when Ayla is asleep in your room where do you go for a few minutes to yourself?

A thought came to me that if your daughter is going to live with you for a long time then can you set up a small flat - like a Granny Flat - on your land - or maybe a caravan? - one of my daughter's step-children lived in a caravan for some time - on their land.

That way your D can arrange her own life - she has been away from home for a few years now and it is very hard to go back - it's natural - but when she gets her own income sorted and enough time has passed for her to think through her options then it all might become less strained. Living in a house with all the living areas in an open plan would be lovely but now there are 6 people living in a place where only the bedrooms have doors - this has to be tough of you and your D as well - privacy is a very natural need

I think about your a lot - I have been thinking about you in front of the computer right now - and thinking more than typing I believe - a lot of things in your life click with different things in mine - like our mother issues and husand issues - though the problems themselves are different having the two people who are so significant not really being there and understanding - I really get this

As for being emotional - that's who you are - and that's okay - fighting it makes it harder - I get anxious myself - I will be okay for months but when it hits it seems to have a life of it's own

So - I get it - I have 2 bedrooms, a lounge and a small kitchen here and it's great with just me but when I have a domestic worker here I can find it hard to deal with at times - esp if it is a different person - it is intrusive to have a stranger in my home - and for you now - I feel it keenly that you don't have a place to go for a few minutes peace

Maybe have a bath - bubbles if you like them - and take a book with you - or your radio - and chill out - door locked - maybe a "do not disturb" sign - or the time you will be free

It's not at all unreasonable to want times to yourself - we all need it

Care heaps

Dec

Morning @Owlunar

my blood pressure went up yesterday. I’m sure it was the heat snd I was dehydrated. Today is horrible. It’s slready 32 degrees.

I’m sitting in the loungeroom sitting with Ayla snd my d. We are watching wiggles!!! Ayla loves them.

Theres no room st sll for anything in the backyard. All we have is a nice outdoor deck and two strips of garden.

Yes I know I need my space. Yesterday my d went to the shops and I had some time myself. It was nice just to lay there eith no one around.

Last night I took a new med to help me sleep and it did nothing. And then Ayla woke up at 3.30 ready to play. My d took her in her bed gave her some milk and she finally fell asleep. I’m sure the heat didn’t help.

We are lucky we have air con throughout the house so it’s snd cool.

I’m sorry you have had a tough week.

You need to be careful with your blood pressure. Hope you stsy cool tidsy.

Thankyou for thinking of you. It means a lot. ❤️

Hi @BlueBay

I have been taking it easy for a week and gradually I am feeling better - my blood pressure has been okay most of the time - it just dropped yesterday - and I don't know why - I had a pretty crappy headache - what caused what? I don't know - but having all this heat at the same time as working out grief issues and pain managment issues has been hard but I have had great support from two of the doctors at my clinic and my GP will be back next week

Yes - you did down-size and it was time in your life to do so - it's something that will work itself out in time - your place actually sounds really lovely -

Dare I ask if your boys would move into the same room and give their sister and niece one of theirs - I imagine this would be a big ask but it would make it easier for you and D -

The way I grew up when my parents moved into a house with two bedrooms when my bro and I were teenagers and we had a little sister and Gran lived with us - this gives me a pretty good idea of how challenging this can be. I am not comparing circumstances but it can be really tough at times

And I feel for you - as I did when I was growing up - I get it - you feel powerless -

I never thought about how my mother thought about all of this - after all our parents made the choices and that was not a good one in my book

Yes - I do think of you - I always did - I can feel the pressure you are under just reading the pages -

Sending thoughts to you in the Crowded House

Dec

Ooh - crowded house

sending you hugs @Owlunar

@BlueBay, my sister thinking of you soo much , and my mind is thinking soo much of the times i have been in a crowded house ( 3 saperate times ) -- I don`t know how my mum did it

I can think of lots of things to say , like setting boundies to develope time for just you

it is good that you were able to rest when your D went out

and today chilling out in front of tv enjoying ayla , soon she might be having a nap and you can continue self care xx

we have no work today due to all this rain and cyclone hanging around

mr shaz has to have a scan on his shoulder this afternoon

Ha ha @Owlunar crowded house it certainly is. We are trying to manage as best we can. But it’s difficult and testing me

ha ha my boys share a room. I don’t think so. They shared a room in our old house for over 10 years. I better not suggest it. I’m hoping thst my younger son moves closer to the city when he finishes uni in May/June.

My other son will get posted wherever towards end of year. So we may have two spare rooms.

I’m so proud of my boys. They love Ayla so much. They play with her and build blocks. Read books to her. They put loud crazy music on while Ayla loves dancing.

It must have been hard for you too growing up. I remember as a child I shared a room with both sisters. Three single beds in one room.

I saw my gp agsin tiday. He wanted to know how I went yesterday eith hospital psychologist. I told him I wasn’t good last night as it triggered my abuse sgsin. I told him I’m scared of talking about it may cause me to have a breakdown again. He said try not to worry about that and if it happens he will help me deal with it. He is so caring. Always gives me space to cry if I need to.

Hi @Shaz51 i hope mr Shaz gets better soon eith his shoulder

hi @Razzle how are you ?

hi @Zoe7 hi @Former-Member very hot here tiday. Supposed to drop 20 deg in the next 2 hours.

BB ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Wish it would drop that much here @BlueBay our firefighters need the relief.

Your sons sound like great boys @BlueBay, you ate rightfully proud of them. And your daughter too. Its a really difficult situation for all of you to be in. Everyone is making sacrifices, and each contributing towards as comfortable a co-existance as possible.

Your GP sounds special. I think you should trust his judgenent, and know he will be there to pick you up again if your psych sessions cause you to go down.

I always shared a small bedroom with my older sister, right through until we both left our parents home when we were mid 20s. Cant say it did either of us any harm. Though we are/were very different. I was always obsessively tidy, she was a slob. 😀 But, we also used to be best friends too, so you work through your differences. Good groundwork for life in the real world I suppose.

Hot and windy here today, and zero possibility of any cool change for at least the next week.

Bring on winter I say.

Sherry 💜

@Former-Member@Zoe7@Shaz51@Owlunar@Razzle

Oh my friends I don’t know what to think. I need some advice.

My d took Ayla to see her dad. He told my daughter that he misses her and Ayla. He knows niw thst he is in the wrong big time. And he told her he will change snd stop going to his mates house. He realised that he’ll be 30 this year snd has made lots of mistakes. He wants to give the relationship another try.

My d has a list of things she needs him to change. I don’t kniw whst she’ll do.

She has gone there now to talk. He told her that after a month if she is not happy then they will split.

Shes going to tell him every single things she’s not hsppy with.

I really don’t kniw. I can only listen and I told her we csnt tell her what to do as it’s her decision. We will support her either way.

Gosh it’s difficult.

BB

That is all you can do @BlueBay It is her decision and as hard as that is you need to accept what she decides. I think we are all behind you in thinking he is not good enough for your daughter but it entirely has to be her decision and one she can live with. Maybe this is the kick on the butt he has needed to finally grow up and step up.