not feeling good

Thankyou @Owlunar I just feel like “an outsider”

but that’s ok. Msybe I need space to absorb everything going on.

I cant do anything reg our finances from here. I can’t do anything reg work

I just have to concentrate on me. But it’s hstd because I cry when I think of myself snd my inner child. I think of sll the losses.

I better go. I’ll chat later. ❤️ Xxoo

Thsnkyou @outlander i hope you’re ok. I often think how you’re going. Take care xx

@BlueBay-

Getting into hospital and having a private room straight away means your psyche knows you need this time and that's the point to consider when you start to doubt yourself -

So you have already had your shower and breakfast - you are ahead of me - I had something to eat with my medication earlier but I still have to make some porridge and shower -

I know the groups can upset you but one point I failed to see for a long time when I was younger and more sensitive I suppose is that the other people in hospital are all different people but they have reasons to be there too and sometimes those reasons get expressed but remember they have nothing to do with you - so just listen without taking it on-board - and think about yourself and how to build up your health

That way you are protecting yourself - and I am sorry your shoulder is so painful - shoulders tendons really hurt when they are strained -

Take the day as it comes

Dec

@Owlunar

Omg the fire alarm has gone off. We’re jn lock down. Great!!!

in group therapy st the moment. Inpatients and outpatients altogether. But one outpatient lady turns around and says to the psychologist and says “how many inpatients do you need jn here” I was really sngry at her comment. I felt she was rude and I wanted to leave.

Niw the firemen have left. But the group is so noisy. I just left group. I Csnt handle sll the noise. And the group isn’t contained on one topic it’s everywhere.

It’s doing my head in.

I'm sorry that has happened today @BlueBay

The fire alarm and the lockdown - really unfortunate - that would be so upsetting - aw - I get it

But an outpatient asking how many inpatients needed to be in a group - that is really crappy behaviour - I know you are not in any state to challenge that and also - discussions going all over the place would drive me out too - and I am okay today -

Surely the person leading the group is a staff member - it makes me wonder if that person has the authority to intervene - I remember it happening in the past -

It's not you though - I would be the same but more likely to speak my mind - but that could be troublesome too though there are people who have no trouble speaking their mind -

My suggestion is you speak to a nurse who is likely to listen and take time off from this afternoon's group if this suits you - group therapy when you are so vulnerable is not easy - I don't know but maybe part of the thinking is that people get the chance to stand up for themselves but it seems also to be inappropriate

I hope things settle down - and you have every right to be in the therapy group and I guess - every right not to be if it stirs you up so much

This is your special time to heal - to take time out for yourself - be gentle with yourself - none of that was helpful

I will be thinking of you

Dec

I just thought about that programme called The Doctors - the presenters seem to yell at each other all the time - I get the idea that hearing their own voice is more important than what they say - chaos

@BlueBay So glad you got a good nights sleep, your post sounds a little more positive, so hopefully your feeling better.

Take care of yourself and get plenty of rest, thinking of you ❤️❤️

I csnt stop crying. I so want to tell my mum about my brother. I’m so close. She rang just then and was surprised I’m in hospital for depression. If only she knew it’s her son thsts caused all this.

My god I need to breathe.

I just want to run away. Nit deal eith this. I hate his guts. He gets away with everything. I hate him.

Its dinner time and I don’t want to go to the dining room. I want to stay in my room and hide away.

@Razzle@Owlunar@Zoe7@utopia@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope

@BlueBay. Break the cycle. Go to dinner. Breathe . You've managed a lot so far. Big sleep. Showered. Breakfast. Did you get to groups today?

@utopia I went to one but it was too loud snd not on topic. So I walked out. I then stayed in my room and slept. Ok I’m walking to dinner. Xx

Well done