not feeling good

@BlueBayyou are not bothering anyone here my sister xx,

here if you want to talk xx

@Shaz51 I don’t know who I am anymore. Al I know is that I’m suffering depression ptsd and have BPD. I don’t know any different anymore. This has taken up my whole life and I can’t deal with this anymore.

Who am I? I don’t know. Whst do I want - don’t know. I’m 52 and have no vision of my life for the future. This is it for me. My life sucks.

@BlueBay, you are a wonderful wife, mother , nunna my sister xxxx

we all have dreams and wishes along the way in life , and as myself as a wife whoes husband has MDD and bipolar 2 and he does not want to go anywhere , he just wants to stay at home makes its hard but my friend

look at the postives of life , your beautiful grand daughter , your wonderful children who you have raised to be great adults xoxo

Hi @BlueBay - no you are not bothering me Hon - and I am here for you when I can be. Just get through work and take the rest of the day as it comes - but try to stay distracted - knitting, walk Jersey, cooking, being on here, etc. - whatever it is that can help you. I will be on and off a bit today - I am trying to get a few things done around the house. I have had a shower and been to the chemist - next is cleaning the kitchen as I didn't do it yesterday - that will have to wait a little while though as I need a rest first.

Hi @Shaz51

I feel sick. My throat is so sore. And I feel my stomach is all knotted up. Full of nerves.

I dont have any motivation to do anything. My head is saying just go. Just go away. There is no one that wants me. Voices in my head keep saying I need to just do it. Trouble is I’m fighting my voices. Fighting my head.

This sh**t has to stop. I need to stop.

My god this anger is now escalating. I need to stop. Wish everything would just stop. Csnt even ask questions at home - I get my head bitten off.

hi @BlueBay

KobeCat here, the afternoon moderator. Sorry to hear things are rough at the moment, just checking in if there is anything I can offer in way of support.

Great to see the community support for each other xx

Regards,

Kobe

Hi @KobeCat

there is nothing anyone can do. Angry at home. On my own atm. I just want to rip into something. Want to sh so much.

There is nothing you can do. I’m in a weird dissociative mind atm. I can think of things I would do to myself but I’m angry.

It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to bother you. 😥

Just laying here not feeling well. Might stay on the couch @KobeCat@Zoe7@Shaz51

don’t any to eat or do anything.

Sh thoughts are creeping in more and more often tonight

Try to resist @BlueBay - I am happy to chat to you if that would help keep you occupied. Where are your boys going to in Italy to start with?

Hi @Zoe7

my boys mate has a relative in Sicily do they’ll go there for 2 days. Then travel on their own to cinque terra, Capri island, Rome and Positano. When they get to Florence they will visit hubbys Aunty. Then they will visit the town where their grandmother (MIL) comes from. They are also going to another family of the mate. They are lucky because accommodation is free.

I wish I was there. I’ll miss them both.